After this past couple of weeks events, its made me really look deeper into my thought process and me in general.
After chatting with a patient, it made me remember something that our fertility doctor back in Louisiana told me. A diet is only as good as the person that is doing it. Which a year ago, I was in a way better place mentally and stress wise. So that is why I was experiencing such great success. Bottom line, I was a better person last year - to some extent. I need to get my head wrapped back around positive thinkings, get things back on my standards, not just talk about it, do it. No more excuses for what could have been, should have been, or any because of this blah blah. I need to be accountable for myself and my actions, also help my clients with Take Shape for Life to feel the same as well. I do not have any active clients right now, which is also making me less accountable. Usually we are accountable together - which helps and motivates everyone involved.
I have been making a bunch of small excuses here and there, well that is about to be all over today. No more cheating. I think the real thing I noticed is, while it is completely and utterly vain, I did not like the way I looked in the mirror whenever I caught a glimpse of my reflection while sitting my bench in front of my bed this AM. This is the first time since post weight loss I have not liked how I looked. Its mostly because I am bloated, because we have been "cheating" more than usual (mentally it helps cope with everything) but we are trying to get out of old habits once again. Old habits are hard to knock - because they are comfortable. Comfortable is homey and feels good. It is time to rock comforts world and get back to that new comfortable Luis and I created a year ago. Its just finding it again.
I signed up for a 3 day pass at the gym in The Colony so that I could work out in the AM. I am much more sedentary in my new job, so the weight loss is not as fast and that is just frustrating. This go around, I would like to also try to tone more to see how much muscle I can build up vs just losing fat and possible some muscle. What people most of the time do not understand is that while you are seeing pounds moving on the scale - there is both good and bad pounds to lose. Good pounds is that pure fat, nasty storage fat. The bad pounds to lose are muscle - you never want to lose muscle! I think that in the past I have more than likely lost both fat and muscle. This time around I'd like to avoid that.
I do know that with the holidays coming up and family coming to visit and us going to see family things are going to be progresses at a slow rate. Let's face it, the people you love and hold the most dear in your life do not like that you have decided to make a change to be healthier, they do not understand it. They will for sure not understand it now that fertility is not a factor of it. I am just sick of being big and have been being big all of my life. I just want to be where I feel comfortable in myself, my health, and my body. I need to find a new positive drive and get back on focus. That started with me again seeing my self worth for who I am. Sometimes, some really terrible events have to happen before you are ready to see that for what it is. I am there now.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Friday, October 31, 2014
Amber's Accident
I had started an entry about a week ago and had to stop. Too painful. The something even worse happened last Saturday afternoon. Amy, one of the twins, called me in tears and tells me that Amber has been in a terrible accident and she is being flown to Mercy in Springfield. My heart literally stopped and I told Amy to remain calm and be there for Amber - Luis and I would be there as soon as we could. Luis and I frantically began ripping clothing out of the closet and shoving into our luggage. I text my neighbors and left our house. The entire drive Luis and I talked about random things to keep my mind off of things, but I still just kept thinking, god I hope she is alright, I hope she has no broken bones, and I hope she can still walk, most importantly I hope she lives. My dad called and said she had rolled her car several times, that witness said it was at least 6 times. I never said it aloud, but I thought to myself "my god, I hope she makes it" Most people do not roll their car 6 times and get to talk about it later. By the time nightfall came, my mom had called me and said she is conscious and they are going to be doing a CTScan on her to check for internal bleeding and her neck/spine. Luis and I were both relieved to know she was awake and able to get up for a CTScan. Then Angie facetimes us, and its Amber in a neckbrace, covered in blood, just sitting in the bed like nothing big had happened. When I seen that I knew things would be pretty OK no matter what her injuries were because she was in good spirits. By the time we were close to MO we got the word that she was being dismissed - and had no internal bleeding, neck and spine were good, and she would just be extremely sore and bruised. All I know, whether you believe in miracles or Angels, she experienced both of those phenomenons that afternoon. I know Grandma Joyce, Grandpa, and Uncle Jesse all save her during that wreck, and a miracle that she didn't have any sort of serious injuries. I was happy to have driven 6 hours and seen my sister laughing and talking like nothing happened after just being in a terrible accident. Thank God for that! It was a nice impromptu visit to see my family - but I never want it to be under those circumstances again.
My original post was going to be about our last doctor's visit. I had gotten too emotional when typing it and had to just shut the PC down. Luis and I found out a week ago that we will never have any biological children. It really sucks to actually hear and type those words out. We have talked and talked about it and how it would be okay. But there was always hope in there, it wasn't a for sure thing that would be happening. But to hear it and know it after all the progress we have made, it just sucks. We really both have an issue with people that do not deserve to have one child, let alone be pregnant. What did they do to deserve to be fertile, while a couple like us are paying the price. It seems like every lowlife, crackhead, or con is as fertile as they come. It just sucks. I am not going to say things are fine, they aren't at all. Luis and I both are very upset and struggling with depression.
I hate to say this, but at least my sisters accident helped me to not think about it for a while. I was prepared to spend a lot of time in MO if need be. While I don't want to quit my job, I would have to stay in MO to help take care of Julian with my sister got better, because my mom cannot afford to not work. I really do not want to talk about fertility anymore, so I will leave you with a few picture os Amber's car.
My original post was going to be about our last doctor's visit. I had gotten too emotional when typing it and had to just shut the PC down. Luis and I found out a week ago that we will never have any biological children. It really sucks to actually hear and type those words out. We have talked and talked about it and how it would be okay. But there was always hope in there, it wasn't a for sure thing that would be happening. But to hear it and know it after all the progress we have made, it just sucks. We really both have an issue with people that do not deserve to have one child, let alone be pregnant. What did they do to deserve to be fertile, while a couple like us are paying the price. It seems like every lowlife, crackhead, or con is as fertile as they come. It just sucks. I am not going to say things are fine, they aren't at all. Luis and I both are very upset and struggling with depression.
I hate to say this, but at least my sisters accident helped me to not think about it for a while. I was prepared to spend a lot of time in MO if need be. While I don't want to quit my job, I would have to stay in MO to help take care of Julian with my sister got better, because my mom cannot afford to not work. I really do not want to talk about fertility anymore, so I will leave you with a few picture os Amber's car.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Getting off track - finding your way back.
These last few weeks have been super stressful. In the entire time we have been on this transformation/weight loss journey I never cheated and never lost site of my goal or faith - until 2 weeks ago.
I am ashamed to even tell this, because I have been so strong all this time. I let work stress get to me, let it penetrate and ruin my mind set and faith. A person can only take so much beating from an individual who is completely and utterly out of touch with how the real world works. Luis an I both ate terribly - something I reverted to that I haven't eaten or even thought of for 2 years. And we just pitiful with it. All these feelings that I thought would be battled out - and I thought I had - some resurfaced. Once the mental stress of work broke down the barrier of faith - the sadness of dealing with our infertility reared its ugly face.
As luck would have it - the other doctor in the office needed help organizing and cleaning his office - which took a ton of stress off of me physically. Also, gave me a break from my mental processing of work and personal life. We have a huge complicated case I am helping with in the morning and I have been in the process of planning with all the doctors involved so that also helps me.
I have to be strong for Luis and myself. I was relying on him - without telling him that I needed him to be strong for my decision process about food and what not. What I had forgotten was I was his strength and accountability. The only way I am going to be successful in this battle is to get us both back on track and on our feet. The path is there and we are both going to get back on it. I never want to see that negativity again, and if that means that I have to make a lot of changes in my life concerning where and who I spend the bulk of my day with it - so be it. No situation or money is worth my health and mental well being.
We traveled to Louisiana on Friday/Saturday to get the bed that we left in the attic of our old house. The woman who purchased it from us is just a great person. I was so happy to have gotten it back and she showed us all around the house and what she had done with the house. You can really tell that she just loves the house - and that is great! I got to catch up with Karen, Mickey, Carolyn, Hailey, Brent and Jenni, Jeremeh and Angie, and the Hanks. We had a great trip and had a great time catching up with people.
Off to bed I must go! Tomorrow will be a long and physically taxing day!
I am ashamed to even tell this, because I have been so strong all this time. I let work stress get to me, let it penetrate and ruin my mind set and faith. A person can only take so much beating from an individual who is completely and utterly out of touch with how the real world works. Luis an I both ate terribly - something I reverted to that I haven't eaten or even thought of for 2 years. And we just pitiful with it. All these feelings that I thought would be battled out - and I thought I had - some resurfaced. Once the mental stress of work broke down the barrier of faith - the sadness of dealing with our infertility reared its ugly face.
As luck would have it - the other doctor in the office needed help organizing and cleaning his office - which took a ton of stress off of me physically. Also, gave me a break from my mental processing of work and personal life. We have a huge complicated case I am helping with in the morning and I have been in the process of planning with all the doctors involved so that also helps me.
I have to be strong for Luis and myself. I was relying on him - without telling him that I needed him to be strong for my decision process about food and what not. What I had forgotten was I was his strength and accountability. The only way I am going to be successful in this battle is to get us both back on track and on our feet. The path is there and we are both going to get back on it. I never want to see that negativity again, and if that means that I have to make a lot of changes in my life concerning where and who I spend the bulk of my day with it - so be it. No situation or money is worth my health and mental well being.
We traveled to Louisiana on Friday/Saturday to get the bed that we left in the attic of our old house. The woman who purchased it from us is just a great person. I was so happy to have gotten it back and she showed us all around the house and what she had done with the house. You can really tell that she just loves the house - and that is great! I got to catch up with Karen, Mickey, Carolyn, Hailey, Brent and Jenni, Jeremeh and Angie, and the Hanks. We had a great trip and had a great time catching up with people.
Off to bed I must go! Tomorrow will be a long and physically taxing day!
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Travel/Stress
Things have been going great. I am down about 15lbs and my scrubs are fitting more and more like they should every day! I have had some days where we might bend the rules slightly, but not have a total derailment. The support group on facebook is in one word AWESOME! I have never posted any "skin showing" photos previously, but I was moved to do so in the group by other people. We should not be ashamed of who are currently, but we know there is room for improvement that we are for a lack of better descriptive way - hungry for it. Each of as person have what it takes to be successful, its a matter of tapping into that part of yourself - which for some is harder than others.
Again, I keep learning new things every time I do a challenge. I find more and things to shed, things that once held such grave importance (that includes people sometimes) really have no bearing on draw on my life and its time to shed those items. I usually start by cleaning items away vs people, just because I NEVER follow my gut instinct, which I shouldn't question it. I allow people 3 chances, but once that 3rd chance is up - I'm done with you. I will no longer keep up one sided relationships and do all the work for a "friendship/relationship" that doesn't really having any substance or validity in my life. With all that being said, we cleaned out our garage and took a ton of stuff to the local donation area that uses things for women and children in shelters. I will no longer give things to family members that have the means to apparently buy new things that I myself cannot even have the luxury of doing.
I am currently having an inner battle with myself over my job. I am under a ton of stress to get all things done - and I feel like I do a pretty good job of keeping up with it all, but one procedure, and then its like I am 50 steps behind where I thought I was. Its always good to have that reassurance to give yourself, but considering this a total new field for me - I do not have that reassurance to give myself - just mostly doubt!
In recent days, I have had to have several uncomfortable conversations with people. Not really uncomfortable for me, but mostly for the other parties involved, which is sometimes worse. One was ending a relationship with a dental rep that really did a lot for us - believe me, I was super grateful to have had him for the set up, but like I tell every rep - I am needy, you are going to have to spend time with me and I'll have thousand questions. Most of you know, I am super up front - sometimes too frank, but I don't want them to think its going to be a breeze account and then getting into it, its farther from the truth than they could have every imagined. Now we a new rep (with in the same company) and he is better, but he is no Erik! I wanted to have my rep back from LA, just because we have worked together for several years at my other office and he knows just how demanding I am and what I expect from a Rep. But the RM here said it was not possible since he is in a different region. The other conversation I had to have was with my boss. It was something that I had wanted to tell him since my BIL root canal. I could tell his feeling where hurt, but he wanted to know it all, so he got it all for sure. I really miss what I did at the other office, but I know unless several people to move on - things would never be the way they needed to be. Things just never work out as optimally as you think they are going to be and nothing is ever the pure definition of perfect - perfect is what you make it to be - which is imperfect in itself.
Tomorrow we are leaving to go and visit Luis' Dad and family. we are going to take a day and see the city and (Philly) and then the next days we will be in Allentown visiting. We got hotel rooms this trip and it will be longer than 24 hours - the last time we went up there was a total wreck with travel and it was only for 24 hours - I'll never do that again for anything!
Wish us safe travels and positive vibes for the trip! This will also be the first time his dad and the rest of them see us since we have lost the weight. We shall see how that all goes!
Again, I keep learning new things every time I do a challenge. I find more and things to shed, things that once held such grave importance (that includes people sometimes) really have no bearing on draw on my life and its time to shed those items. I usually start by cleaning items away vs people, just because I NEVER follow my gut instinct, which I shouldn't question it. I allow people 3 chances, but once that 3rd chance is up - I'm done with you. I will no longer keep up one sided relationships and do all the work for a "friendship/relationship" that doesn't really having any substance or validity in my life. With all that being said, we cleaned out our garage and took a ton of stuff to the local donation area that uses things for women and children in shelters. I will no longer give things to family members that have the means to apparently buy new things that I myself cannot even have the luxury of doing.
I am currently having an inner battle with myself over my job. I am under a ton of stress to get all things done - and I feel like I do a pretty good job of keeping up with it all, but one procedure, and then its like I am 50 steps behind where I thought I was. Its always good to have that reassurance to give yourself, but considering this a total new field for me - I do not have that reassurance to give myself - just mostly doubt!
In recent days, I have had to have several uncomfortable conversations with people. Not really uncomfortable for me, but mostly for the other parties involved, which is sometimes worse. One was ending a relationship with a dental rep that really did a lot for us - believe me, I was super grateful to have had him for the set up, but like I tell every rep - I am needy, you are going to have to spend time with me and I'll have thousand questions. Most of you know, I am super up front - sometimes too frank, but I don't want them to think its going to be a breeze account and then getting into it, its farther from the truth than they could have every imagined. Now we a new rep (with in the same company) and he is better, but he is no Erik! I wanted to have my rep back from LA, just because we have worked together for several years at my other office and he knows just how demanding I am and what I expect from a Rep. But the RM here said it was not possible since he is in a different region. The other conversation I had to have was with my boss. It was something that I had wanted to tell him since my BIL root canal. I could tell his feeling where hurt, but he wanted to know it all, so he got it all for sure. I really miss what I did at the other office, but I know unless several people to move on - things would never be the way they needed to be. Things just never work out as optimally as you think they are going to be and nothing is ever the pure definition of perfect - perfect is what you make it to be - which is imperfect in itself.
Tomorrow we are leaving to go and visit Luis' Dad and family. we are going to take a day and see the city and (Philly) and then the next days we will be in Allentown visiting. We got hotel rooms this trip and it will be longer than 24 hours - the last time we went up there was a total wreck with travel and it was only for 24 hours - I'll never do that again for anything!
Wish us safe travels and positive vibes for the trip! This will also be the first time his dad and the rest of them see us since we have lost the weight. We shall see how that all goes!
Friday, September 5, 2014
Sedation Course
This short week has been a super eventful week! Our office website went live! Feel free to visit it! www.finleyendo.com I also am taking a oral sedation class with my doctor.
What I have learned today (the first day of the class) is that I actually knew way more about oral sedation than I thought I did. I think it even surprised my boss as well! I texted my old boss and told him thanks for all that he taught me about oral sedation, monitoring, and emergency situation things. I actually got all but one answer correct in the questions during lecture. Oh yeah, not to mention I am the only person who is not a doctor .... kinda strange - even more so when I am getting answer right that they are not! I am providing the support for the people taking the webinar portion of the class. Which consist of me texting people back from the doctor's phone that is giving the class! Pretty easy and I am getting CE courses for free! Also, my boss is going to sedate me on sunday - so we shall see how that goes. Hopefully I just sleep and I don't talk out of my head - like whenever I have had way to much to drink - which hasn't happened for years, but you know that kinda stuff just doesn't change!
I had to contact a friend back in Lafayette to help me with a situation at work. I hate to have to involve him, but I'm basically at a point where I just had to since I was not getting any response from anyone here. Which is pretty strange, I just hope they are both okay. Its very out of character for them!
I am not sure if blogged about this or not. We set up the "junk room" to bee an office space for both Luis and I. I already had my super adorable secretary's desk (from Ikea) and Luis has had his eye on this big corner desk at Ikea for a while. We actually found it in the returns bin - where it was 50% off! It has a little bit of cosmetic damage but nothing terrible. I have dubbed this room the Ikea room. We have 2 desk, an end table, sofabed, and desk chair all from Ikea in here.
Anyhow, with that being said - I have the entire house pretty much set up! The guest room is complete - we even have an armoire or clothing for when guest come over (we are using the closet for storage) Now, I need to send out our address change cards - I got side tracked!
Also, we booked a trip to go and visit Luis' dad and brother in PA. One of the advantages of being in a bigger city now is the availability to travel for a decent price. We haven't seen them in a few years, and Luis grandma is up there right now, so it would be the best time. Luis mom will be here for Thanksgiving and we will see my family for a few days at Christmas.
I cannot wait to decorate for a fall when I get my new wreath next week!!
What I have learned today (the first day of the class) is that I actually knew way more about oral sedation than I thought I did. I think it even surprised my boss as well! I texted my old boss and told him thanks for all that he taught me about oral sedation, monitoring, and emergency situation things. I actually got all but one answer correct in the questions during lecture. Oh yeah, not to mention I am the only person who is not a doctor .... kinda strange - even more so when I am getting answer right that they are not! I am providing the support for the people taking the webinar portion of the class. Which consist of me texting people back from the doctor's phone that is giving the class! Pretty easy and I am getting CE courses for free! Also, my boss is going to sedate me on sunday - so we shall see how that goes. Hopefully I just sleep and I don't talk out of my head - like whenever I have had way to much to drink - which hasn't happened for years, but you know that kinda stuff just doesn't change!
I had to contact a friend back in Lafayette to help me with a situation at work. I hate to have to involve him, but I'm basically at a point where I just had to since I was not getting any response from anyone here. Which is pretty strange, I just hope they are both okay. Its very out of character for them!
I am not sure if blogged about this or not. We set up the "junk room" to bee an office space for both Luis and I. I already had my super adorable secretary's desk (from Ikea) and Luis has had his eye on this big corner desk at Ikea for a while. We actually found it in the returns bin - where it was 50% off! It has a little bit of cosmetic damage but nothing terrible. I have dubbed this room the Ikea room. We have 2 desk, an end table, sofabed, and desk chair all from Ikea in here.
Anyhow, with that being said - I have the entire house pretty much set up! The guest room is complete - we even have an armoire or clothing for when guest come over (we are using the closet for storage) Now, I need to send out our address change cards - I got side tracked!
Also, we booked a trip to go and visit Luis' dad and brother in PA. One of the advantages of being in a bigger city now is the availability to travel for a decent price. We haven't seen them in a few years, and Luis grandma is up there right now, so it would be the best time. Luis mom will be here for Thanksgiving and we will see my family for a few days at Christmas.
I cannot wait to decorate for a fall when I get my new wreath next week!!
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Working the weekend
Well Luis and I officially started our 12 week challenge on Monday. Things are falling back into a nice routine. It will take at least two solid weeks to completely adjust to no sugar at all. We do not eat a lot of refined sugar - but weaning ourselves off of fructose - the sugar that naturally occurs in fruits and some vegetables.
Last night I made this amazing hamburger. We used a portobello mushroom as the bread/bun, hamburger patty with small amount of cheese, one piece of bacon, (per request of Luis) 1 fried egg, shredded lettuce, sliced tomato and "bloody mary" pickles. It was just what we needed after working so hard all day in the yard.
Tonight, I made some small very lean steaks and braised cabbage with a small amount of bacon (mostly for seasoning) I have completely fallen in love with cabbage since losing weight - strangest thing!
This weekend, we worked very hard! Sunday and Monday we worked outside on the yard. Here in North Texas everyone has some kind of foundation problem, just because of the type of soil that is present here. Our Realtor and home inspector told us the best way to help keep the foundation stable and hydrated to use soaker hoses around the perimeter of the house. Whenever I re-did the front flower beds I buried the soaker hose in the font/side of the house. This weekend we bought 3 azaleas of various colors, 3 ever green shrubs, and a bunch of potato vines (since I have not killed the ones I have had for a few months) We planted the shrubs next to our deck - they are small but will grow big quickly - buried a soaker hose in that bed and mulched it - that was the easiest thing we did all weekend! The back flower bed was like 90% clay that had been irrigated - so it was like digging in modeling clay - huge mess. Luis had to had mend 2 hoses together - that in itself took 2 home depot trips. Just thinking about it all makes me tired!!! Once I have the front looking like how I want it, I will take a picture. We have someone building some railing for the font of the house - it mostly for looks - but was cute when it was there - it rotted so yeah needs to be changed.
Luis is on a one night business trip tonight. I cannot believe how close to the airport we are - its crazy! Via the toll roads of course.
I need to find a dermatologist here, my Roscea is acting out like it did 5 years ago whenever I broke out after our wedding. Its not quite that bad yet or painful - but I am super babying it right now!
Last night I made this amazing hamburger. We used a portobello mushroom as the bread/bun, hamburger patty with small amount of cheese, one piece of bacon, (per request of Luis) 1 fried egg, shredded lettuce, sliced tomato and "bloody mary" pickles. It was just what we needed after working so hard all day in the yard.
Tonight, I made some small very lean steaks and braised cabbage with a small amount of bacon (mostly for seasoning) I have completely fallen in love with cabbage since losing weight - strangest thing!
This weekend, we worked very hard! Sunday and Monday we worked outside on the yard. Here in North Texas everyone has some kind of foundation problem, just because of the type of soil that is present here. Our Realtor and home inspector told us the best way to help keep the foundation stable and hydrated to use soaker hoses around the perimeter of the house. Whenever I re-did the front flower beds I buried the soaker hose in the font/side of the house. This weekend we bought 3 azaleas of various colors, 3 ever green shrubs, and a bunch of potato vines (since I have not killed the ones I have had for a few months) We planted the shrubs next to our deck - they are small but will grow big quickly - buried a soaker hose in that bed and mulched it - that was the easiest thing we did all weekend! The back flower bed was like 90% clay that had been irrigated - so it was like digging in modeling clay - huge mess. Luis had to had mend 2 hoses together - that in itself took 2 home depot trips. Just thinking about it all makes me tired!!! Once I have the front looking like how I want it, I will take a picture. We have someone building some railing for the font of the house - it mostly for looks - but was cute when it was there - it rotted so yeah needs to be changed.
Luis is on a one night business trip tonight. I cannot believe how close to the airport we are - its crazy! Via the toll roads of course.
I need to find a dermatologist here, my Roscea is acting out like it did 5 years ago whenever I broke out after our wedding. Its not quite that bad yet or painful - but I am super babying it right now!
Friday, August 29, 2014
Cox Communications
Today I feel super accomplished! I have cancelled 3 credit cards, opened a new account at TSFL for a new client, and now I am on hold with cox to see about my refund that I have not received since we moved from Louisiana! And I have been doing laundry all during these process! Again - feeling super productive!
The guy from Cox is SUPER helpful! So was the girl last time, but still no refund - he is contacting the finance department for me to figure out why I haven't received my refund yet. The last two times (this time being one of them) I have had awesome customer service - the two times before that I did not and was pretty rude on the phone - I am not going to lie. The same thing I told the customer service rep - because I know they make notes about each call LOL and wanted to give my reasoning for being "THAT caller/customer". We shall see if I get the refund next month or if I need to call back again. I do know that the best number to call to NOT get Louisiana customer reps is 1.877.404.2606. That's the number I will be calling from now on!! All this fuss for 77.09. Its worth it because cox is overpriced and annoying so its nice to return the favor to them!
Things are going very well at the office. We accepted and signed with one insurance company so see if that generates some more business. I have been super busy setting things up and negotiating fees with the insurance companies as well. Plus, final edits to the website. Once we go live I will post a link to the website.
I am thinking about ordering new cards for take shape for life since all of my current ones have all my Lafayette information on them. I like some of the designs from vista print - might look into those!
Luis and I started our challenge a few days early to get on track so we are getting back into the swing of things. Also a reminder of how easy it is to get out of a healthy habit that you have created. So back to the basics for the next 12 weeks will be wonderful!
If you'd like to join my secret group on facebook for the 12 week health challenge there is still stime!! Just sent me a message here or on facebook and I'll get you added!
The guy from Cox is SUPER helpful! So was the girl last time, but still no refund - he is contacting the finance department for me to figure out why I haven't received my refund yet. The last two times (this time being one of them) I have had awesome customer service - the two times before that I did not and was pretty rude on the phone - I am not going to lie. The same thing I told the customer service rep - because I know they make notes about each call LOL and wanted to give my reasoning for being "THAT caller/customer". We shall see if I get the refund next month or if I need to call back again. I do know that the best number to call to NOT get Louisiana customer reps is 1.877.404.2606. That's the number I will be calling from now on!! All this fuss for 77.09. Its worth it because cox is overpriced and annoying so its nice to return the favor to them!
Things are going very well at the office. We accepted and signed with one insurance company so see if that generates some more business. I have been super busy setting things up and negotiating fees with the insurance companies as well. Plus, final edits to the website. Once we go live I will post a link to the website.
I am thinking about ordering new cards for take shape for life since all of my current ones have all my Lafayette information on them. I like some of the designs from vista print - might look into those!
Luis and I started our challenge a few days early to get on track so we are getting back into the swing of things. Also a reminder of how easy it is to get out of a healthy habit that you have created. So back to the basics for the next 12 weeks will be wonderful!
If you'd like to join my secret group on facebook for the 12 week health challenge there is still stime!! Just sent me a message here or on facebook and I'll get you added!
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Acknowledging growth and change
To actively go through change and growth is easy - also easily over looked. I just experienced it just a week ago. I have been actively making changes for almost 2 years now. All in a positive way of course.
We had never really told anyone (in our families) about the last meeting with our fertility doctor in Louisiana (right before we moved). It wasn't the news we wanted to hear, but it also wasn't absolute horrible news. We knew when leaving that day, the chances of us having a child were very slim. It hurt. I was depressed for a good while and covered it up - even to myself with all of the stress of the move. My mom recently asked me if we were still trying to have a baby. Of course we were on facetime with my dad, mom, and sister Amber .... I basically told them flat out. It was sad to say, but I didn't feel that devastated feeling in my stomach. At the time, to be honest, I didn't really notice. Later, as I always do, I was thinking about our conversation and then had the realization that it had happened. Immediately I told Luis. We then noticed our growth. While it is still painful to know the truth, we have accepted it and grown from it.
Things are going in a more positive way at the office. My boss is doing better now that we have had a few patients. We even had our first new patient! I have been working on TONS of things. Even though we have not had patients a lot of the time, I always have things to do. Yesterday was the first day we had two patients in a day. I am not going to lie, it is a struggle to try to do all the front and the back and stay on schedule. Not to mention, I using/learning a system I have NO experience on or training. Once we see a few more patients I think I'll have procedures, paperwork, and the such under control.
We had never really told anyone (in our families) about the last meeting with our fertility doctor in Louisiana (right before we moved). It wasn't the news we wanted to hear, but it also wasn't absolute horrible news. We knew when leaving that day, the chances of us having a child were very slim. It hurt. I was depressed for a good while and covered it up - even to myself with all of the stress of the move. My mom recently asked me if we were still trying to have a baby. Of course we were on facetime with my dad, mom, and sister Amber .... I basically told them flat out. It was sad to say, but I didn't feel that devastated feeling in my stomach. At the time, to be honest, I didn't really notice. Later, as I always do, I was thinking about our conversation and then had the realization that it had happened. Immediately I told Luis. We then noticed our growth. While it is still painful to know the truth, we have accepted it and grown from it.
Things are going in a more positive way at the office. My boss is doing better now that we have had a few patients. We even had our first new patient! I have been working on TONS of things. Even though we have not had patients a lot of the time, I always have things to do. Yesterday was the first day we had two patients in a day. I am not going to lie, it is a struggle to try to do all the front and the back and stay on schedule. Not to mention, I using/learning a system I have NO experience on or training. Once we see a few more patients I think I'll have procedures, paperwork, and the such under control.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Updates and stress!
I knew I had not updated in a few weeks, but I didn't know it was a month almost exactly. Gosh! Where do I start.
Well, the twins came to visit us the first part of August. We did a ton of stuff, it was a lot of fun. I wasn't exactly working everyday just yet, so it made it nice to be able to spend time with them. Of course we had to take the all well known Ikea trip. The girls bought so much furniture that Luis had to take it all back to our house and then come back to Ikea and pick us up .... better yet, somehow with all four of us loading the car we got ALL of it plus them in Angie's cobalt. I'm still not sure how, but it happened. I had to take all their clothing out of their luggage and do the space bags so they could take it home with them. At some point Angie will need to come to The Colony to get the contents of her trunk that she left in our garage ...
After that, the office has taken over my life and sanity. Questionable if I ever had any - but what I did have has been taken away. I mean I even have had drinks multiple times a week. That hasn't happened in a LONG time - like almost 5 years. Anyhow, Things are moving forward. I talked to my old doctor and was able to get a lot of forms from his office to use for patient information. The hardest to create is the consents and informed information about root canals and the post operative instructions - since I have never even assisted on one! I do have to say, I like having this office from scratch - doing all the things the right way the first time is a lot easier than trying to back track so many years/ex workers to fix. Yes, it has been stressful - but there is more to that than what meets the eye. Hopefully this week that will be taken care of or I might just lose it!
Oh, how could I forget - the week the twins were visiting we found out our front door was infested with fire ants - so we went and bought a new door and I had wanted a storm door - so we just got all of it together. In the mean time while we were waiting for the doors to come in, our pest control came by and sprayed poison in the door to kill the colony, but the door was split ( I am assuming from the ants) at the top. The door was installed yesterday and today we painted the door. The storm door arrived damaged so we have to wait for that piece to come back in and then they will come and install the storm door. Yeah we are pretty boring individuals!
Well, the twins came to visit us the first part of August. We did a ton of stuff, it was a lot of fun. I wasn't exactly working everyday just yet, so it made it nice to be able to spend time with them. Of course we had to take the all well known Ikea trip. The girls bought so much furniture that Luis had to take it all back to our house and then come back to Ikea and pick us up .... better yet, somehow with all four of us loading the car we got ALL of it plus them in Angie's cobalt. I'm still not sure how, but it happened. I had to take all their clothing out of their luggage and do the space bags so they could take it home with them. At some point Angie will need to come to The Colony to get the contents of her trunk that she left in our garage ...
After that, the office has taken over my life and sanity. Questionable if I ever had any - but what I did have has been taken away. I mean I even have had drinks multiple times a week. That hasn't happened in a LONG time - like almost 5 years. Anyhow, Things are moving forward. I talked to my old doctor and was able to get a lot of forms from his office to use for patient information. The hardest to create is the consents and informed information about root canals and the post operative instructions - since I have never even assisted on one! I do have to say, I like having this office from scratch - doing all the things the right way the first time is a lot easier than trying to back track so many years/ex workers to fix. Yes, it has been stressful - but there is more to that than what meets the eye. Hopefully this week that will be taken care of or I might just lose it!
Oh, how could I forget - the week the twins were visiting we found out our front door was infested with fire ants - so we went and bought a new door and I had wanted a storm door - so we just got all of it together. In the mean time while we were waiting for the doors to come in, our pest control came by and sprayed poison in the door to kill the colony, but the door was split ( I am assuming from the ants) at the top. The door was installed yesterday and today we painted the door. The storm door arrived damaged so we have to wait for that piece to come back in and then they will come and install the storm door. Yeah we are pretty boring individuals!
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Weekend Recap!
This past weekend was interesting to say the least.
I had driven by a construction site and got some sort of spray of liquid dusty stuff on my passenger side of my car. That was on Friday, and I had noticed that I couldn't get off with my wipers from the windshield. So Luis and I thought to get my car detailed at a local car wash. Well things went south. I got the car washed and it was not washed. So I approached the manager and he talked to me like I was a complete idiot - like I had painted something on my car. Well, I snapped. I was yelling at him and telling him all kinds of things, one thing I do remember saying was "you are super pissing me off right now and the only thing I want to do is punch you in the face, but I won't". My proudest moment? NO. But I did get all the aggression I have been holding back out and in the open, so I got that accomplished. We left, and got car wash supplies from O'Rielys and washed the car by hand and got the stuff off with a little bit of effort.
That evening we went out for some drinks and to people watch. It was a lot of fun. We walked around a park and just hung out. We both didn't feel like going home after we went shopping - so why not.
On Sunday Cory, Val, and their baby Barrett came by for a visit to our house. I have not seen Cory and Val since I left Rolla. Needless to say its been a while. I think like most adults, we have grown in somewhat different directions, but there is still a friendship there, which is nice. I have found in the last few years, a lot of people that I grew up with or were close with in college we are just not in touch at all anymore. We have all grown in different directions and sometimes that means that there is no longer a bond or a relationship there. That is OK. I'd rather be able to identify that instead of acting like there is a friendship there and there isn't really. I like having Cory and Val close, that means we could in fact go visit them for a day because its not that far away!
I have vowed to become more active to try and wash away some of the blah and depression I have been dealing with. So I have been jogging/walking the neighborhood. Its about 2.5 miles. I do it alone in the AM and Luis and I walk it together in the evening. So I will leave you with a picture from my walk this AM.
I had driven by a construction site and got some sort of spray of liquid dusty stuff on my passenger side of my car. That was on Friday, and I had noticed that I couldn't get off with my wipers from the windshield. So Luis and I thought to get my car detailed at a local car wash. Well things went south. I got the car washed and it was not washed. So I approached the manager and he talked to me like I was a complete idiot - like I had painted something on my car. Well, I snapped. I was yelling at him and telling him all kinds of things, one thing I do remember saying was "you are super pissing me off right now and the only thing I want to do is punch you in the face, but I won't". My proudest moment? NO. But I did get all the aggression I have been holding back out and in the open, so I got that accomplished. We left, and got car wash supplies from O'Rielys and washed the car by hand and got the stuff off with a little bit of effort.
That evening we went out for some drinks and to people watch. It was a lot of fun. We walked around a park and just hung out. We both didn't feel like going home after we went shopping - so why not.
On Sunday Cory, Val, and their baby Barrett came by for a visit to our house. I have not seen Cory and Val since I left Rolla. Needless to say its been a while. I think like most adults, we have grown in somewhat different directions, but there is still a friendship there, which is nice. I have found in the last few years, a lot of people that I grew up with or were close with in college we are just not in touch at all anymore. We have all grown in different directions and sometimes that means that there is no longer a bond or a relationship there. That is OK. I'd rather be able to identify that instead of acting like there is a friendship there and there isn't really. I like having Cory and Val close, that means we could in fact go visit them for a day because its not that far away!
I have vowed to become more active to try and wash away some of the blah and depression I have been dealing with. So I have been jogging/walking the neighborhood. Its about 2.5 miles. I do it alone in the AM and Luis and I walk it together in the evening. So I will leave you with a picture from my walk this AM.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Be Positive!
Our move so far has been fantastic. I am learning to have a life with out stress and really learning how to get rid of stress that is trying to follow me.
We have already had friends visit us. We are even meeting up with more this weekend. And even more in the future. I had one friend come to visit while in Louisiana. I'm so excited to be close to family and friends. Luis brother and his wife and children have come to our house recently. The twins are coming in 2 weeks for a week visit. I am also enjoying being closer to things to do that are fun and different. The move to Texas, even though it was big and made us go through a lot of unknown experiences - was literally one of the best things we have done. Luis really loves his new position and all of its challenges. I also love my new job, even know it has not officially begun as of yet. All the new things I am learning are making me use my mind again and be challenged.
At one point I was slightly depressed because of life, recently. Yesterday I was able to vent with a friend and as I was talking, I was thinking to myself - why am I letting this get to me? I am the only one this is affecting. I like being able to get those self revelation moments that are the truth speaking to you. So I am making the decision to put it all behind me and let karma handle everything. I have to remember to think about the great things in my life. Well everyone should do that. As a society we are made to dwell on the bad in life. To easily point that out in every way. It is hard to be positive - especially whenever you came from a group of completely negative people. I am getting back to be my positive and optimistic self, even though not all of what happens in my life is positive - you have to see the positive even in the negative.
This weekend Luis and I are meeting up with a college friend of mine Cory and his wife Val. I will get to meet their adorable little boy! Also, Luis will be able to meet Val. Just seems odd to me that he didn't meet her but when Luis and I met was the summer that Cory had went home, so it does make sense. I think the last time I seen them in person was probably like 8 years ago - maybe less. I'm so thrilled! I just cannot wait.
Tomorrow I am going to join the gym here close to my house. I thought we were going to get bikes soon, but that seems like its going to be farther out that I anticipated. So, I need to get out and do something. I bought a jump rope a few days ago. I haven't done that since I was in grade school. Its so hard now! I am not coordinated at all outside of dentistry. So after 30 mins of whipping my ankles I decided to call it a day for today and go and try again some more tomorrow!
We have already had friends visit us. We are even meeting up with more this weekend. And even more in the future. I had one friend come to visit while in Louisiana. I'm so excited to be close to family and friends. Luis brother and his wife and children have come to our house recently. The twins are coming in 2 weeks for a week visit. I am also enjoying being closer to things to do that are fun and different. The move to Texas, even though it was big and made us go through a lot of unknown experiences - was literally one of the best things we have done. Luis really loves his new position and all of its challenges. I also love my new job, even know it has not officially begun as of yet. All the new things I am learning are making me use my mind again and be challenged.
At one point I was slightly depressed because of life, recently. Yesterday I was able to vent with a friend and as I was talking, I was thinking to myself - why am I letting this get to me? I am the only one this is affecting. I like being able to get those self revelation moments that are the truth speaking to you. So I am making the decision to put it all behind me and let karma handle everything. I have to remember to think about the great things in my life. Well everyone should do that. As a society we are made to dwell on the bad in life. To easily point that out in every way. It is hard to be positive - especially whenever you came from a group of completely negative people. I am getting back to be my positive and optimistic self, even though not all of what happens in my life is positive - you have to see the positive even in the negative.
This weekend Luis and I are meeting up with a college friend of mine Cory and his wife Val. I will get to meet their adorable little boy! Also, Luis will be able to meet Val. Just seems odd to me that he didn't meet her but when Luis and I met was the summer that Cory had went home, so it does make sense. I think the last time I seen them in person was probably like 8 years ago - maybe less. I'm so thrilled! I just cannot wait.
Tomorrow I am going to join the gym here close to my house. I thought we were going to get bikes soon, but that seems like its going to be farther out that I anticipated. So, I need to get out and do something. I bought a jump rope a few days ago. I haven't done that since I was in grade school. Its so hard now! I am not coordinated at all outside of dentistry. So after 30 mins of whipping my ankles I decided to call it a day for today and go and try again some more tomorrow!
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
What's on my mind ...
Things have been on my mind and I have fought to actually type them out in this blog. I literally cannot fight the urge to publish it.
People who have the need to talk about others and degrade them really urk me. Don't get me wrong - at some point we all do it in life whether we actually mean to or not. I am not talking about that. I am talking about the people out there that is all they do. That is there life goal is to slander someones name to give themselves fame.
Its literally happening to me. I do not have contact with the people that are doing it - and I really do not care to ever have contact with those said individuals either. The problem I do have is that the said people are doing it create this negative feel about who I am and what I have accomplished. At first I was honored really to be the aim of their attacks. If I was able to make that much of an impact on your life that you cannot stop talking about me and trying to ruin my name all around Lafayette - then I must have been doing something right! Now, that it is progressing and friends are calling me telling me things - its starting to get to the point where I might need to take legal action. Also, degrading training and a school I am affiliated with - that my friends, just won't fly.
One thing my actual friends know - don't mess with my friends - I will get even and it most likely will be legally speaking. You can attack me - you literally have no demise on my career - because I do not live in Lafayette, nor do we ever plan on moving back to Lafayette - further more I would never work there again considering it would be a complete redo - once again. BUT when you do attach the attack to my best friend and her business I have a huge problem with that. You will not sabotage her because of me. Talk all the trash you want about me. Tell everyone, I mean everyone!! If the people met me they know you are the one attacking someone because of jealously and you need for acceptance. He has accepted you as the know it all - just take it for what it is and not stop the attacks on my best friend. If they don't stop, I will seek legal action for defamation of character and harassment. Believe me - I have plenty of witnesses - its really quite easy.
I had to get it out of my system and into print - I have been fighting this urge for the last week. I know its a "threat" in a way, but its more the principal of what I am fighting for. Showing people that you actually can get into legal trouble for what your mouth does. Some people needed to be reminded this.
People who have the need to talk about others and degrade them really urk me. Don't get me wrong - at some point we all do it in life whether we actually mean to or not. I am not talking about that. I am talking about the people out there that is all they do. That is there life goal is to slander someones name to give themselves fame.
Its literally happening to me. I do not have contact with the people that are doing it - and I really do not care to ever have contact with those said individuals either. The problem I do have is that the said people are doing it create this negative feel about who I am and what I have accomplished. At first I was honored really to be the aim of their attacks. If I was able to make that much of an impact on your life that you cannot stop talking about me and trying to ruin my name all around Lafayette - then I must have been doing something right! Now, that it is progressing and friends are calling me telling me things - its starting to get to the point where I might need to take legal action. Also, degrading training and a school I am affiliated with - that my friends, just won't fly.
One thing my actual friends know - don't mess with my friends - I will get even and it most likely will be legally speaking. You can attack me - you literally have no demise on my career - because I do not live in Lafayette, nor do we ever plan on moving back to Lafayette - further more I would never work there again considering it would be a complete redo - once again. BUT when you do attach the attack to my best friend and her business I have a huge problem with that. You will not sabotage her because of me. Talk all the trash you want about me. Tell everyone, I mean everyone!! If the people met me they know you are the one attacking someone because of jealously and you need for acceptance. He has accepted you as the know it all - just take it for what it is and not stop the attacks on my best friend. If they don't stop, I will seek legal action for defamation of character and harassment. Believe me - I have plenty of witnesses - its really quite easy.
I had to get it out of my system and into print - I have been fighting this urge for the last week. I know its a "threat" in a way, but its more the principal of what I am fighting for. Showing people that you actually can get into legal trouble for what your mouth does. Some people needed to be reminded this.
Monday, June 23, 2014
Update on Mom's dog
My mom text me this AM to let me know Precious had died sometime Saturday evening or early Sunday morning. Poor little thing is out of pain. I know my mom will be sad about it and even more so her old chihuahua Mert. Mert is always depressed whenever she loses a house mate, and they have been together for many years as they were both pretty old.
My mom did try everything she could and was even going to take her to an animal hospital, so I know she will be very upset, even though she is not showing it. She said they have already buried her in the backyard.
RIP Precious!
My mom did try everything she could and was even going to take her to an animal hospital, so I know she will be very upset, even though she is not showing it. She said they have already buried her in the backyard.
RIP Precious!
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Forgotten Bed
Today, Luis and I discovered that we left a bed at our old house in Lafayette. Its not so much of the value it actually holds monetarily .. its the emotional connection I have to it from my childhood and my grandmother. Yes, it was old when she had, old when my mom had it, and even older when I have had it. My grandma and I striped it down to its original state one summer, with my mom of course at the old farm. It was a lot of work and in the heat of summer, but my mom wanted for me and Amber to have a bigger bed to share, since the arrival of the twins. Amber and I shared that bed until we got our bunkbeds and then it went to be stored in the shed behind our house. When I moved out of my moms house, that is the bed that followed me all through college and even with Luis and I. That bed was our first bed in Corpus Christi and Lafayette. Then we retired it to the guest room. Anyhow, I could go on and on. But my thoughts were I would stop using it until we could refinish it again and then today we found out we may have lost it forever. Luis feels very terrible, because he and our friend JohnEric cleaned out the attic, but he forgot to get the bed from the corner he had placed it. I just hope the new homeowner will have it in her heart to give it back to us. We have contacted our Realtor from Lafayette in hopes to get it back. He said he would take care of it from there. I hope and pray that it everything goes our way and she will allow us to either come and it or have a friend in the neighborhood pick it up for us. Either way, I would just love to have my grandma's bed back. Like I told Luis, if I cannot get it back it is in no way shape or form the end of the world as it is JUST an object - I have the memories. It is not going to be something that I hold over his head or anything ridiculous like that. I even called my mom to ask her about it, in case there was something about it I had not remembered. Anyhow, I just hope we have a chance in getting it.
Also on a side note, one of my moms dogs is super ill and will need to be transported from the current vets office to either STL or Springfield to animal hospital. I hope they figure out what is wrong with her. She is a very good dog and my mom and sister saved her years ago from an extremely abusive situation. Please send positive thought for little Precious.
Also on a side note, one of my moms dogs is super ill and will need to be transported from the current vets office to either STL or Springfield to animal hospital. I hope they figure out what is wrong with her. She is a very good dog and my mom and sister saved her years ago from an extremely abusive situation. Please send positive thought for little Precious.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
5 Year Anniversary
Last Friday was our 5 year anniversary. Luis had planned out the entire evening, all the way down to taking me to this chocolate place that had a solid chocolate tooth. We had conveyor belt sushi - which was a fun experience. We went to the chocolate place and had a few - as they were super expensive and the guy there seemed very aggravated that we were making purchases. We sat and people watched/visited in a park until dark. It was nice to just relax after all this moving! The next night we went out to a place called the blue martini for drinks and had an awesome evening - there was live music and it was actually really good.
I had measurements for blinds taken the other day - by several companies and then made my choice of course. Today, they came and installed them. It changes the house completely. It looks so much better. We have been putting little touches on the guest room little by little. I wanted to change it since we live by the lake now. Something like beachy/lake house type of guest room. The bathroom in our LA home was already beach themed, so I did get to use a lot of that in this bathroom.
Changing gears, I must say I haven't felt of life where I was mostly stress free in a long time. Living in Louisiana was stressful in the fact that most of time we lived there, we had no real friends until the last few years we were there. As well as the job I held for the last 5 years. I am so much more calm and can make rational thoughts/decisions. Things that would have set me off into a rage have no affect on me - at all. Instead, I just take the pride in the things I have accomplished and not focus on the ignorance of others. Which for me, is totally amazing. You don't realize the things you are doing to yourself to cause all the stress in your life. For instance - I was putting way too much pressure on myself to accomplish things - in my work life and personal life, when I really shouldn't have. If I could have predicted the future, do you think I would have put my heart and soul into my work life if I knew what I knew now? The answer is plain as day: NO. Why? Because I was taken for granted. Like it was my "job" to do that. I was getting "paid" to do those things. That is fine, but in all fairness I cannot be more invested in something that isn't even mine. My personal life, I put strain on a lot of relationships - trying to perfect them or for me to be the perfect friend, sister, daughter, wife, ect. Which in all reality : spoiler alert : NO ONE IS PERFECT. It is a hard pill to swallow when you try so hard. Now I know this.
This brings me to the next thing I wanted to vent on. Well vent is not so much the right description. A few of my friends who have had a terrible time conceiving have finally conceived and are carrying healthy babies - It literally brings tears to my eyes and we could not be happier for them! With that being said - I am taking the stress off of Luis and I, we are not going forward with any fertility treatments and just going to live life until we are ready to persue that avenue again. My new goal is focus on losing around 40-50lbs so that I can have the skin removal surgery. I cannot live a life with excess skin just waiting for the day to come - because it hasn't and its been a year. Its really hard to care for so much excess tissue and its super aggravating knowing that you could buy/wear something you could look really good in if you didn't have all the extra skin. Although, I think if my skin was in excess in other areas than where it is at, it wouldn't be as bad. Almost all of mine is at the waist and below, so it makes even wearing jeans uncomfortable because the size that fits my waist is not the size the fits the excess skin, so then I have buy a size bigger and be constantly pulling them up so they don't fall off my rear!
Please don't misunderstand my comments and new goal. Its not that we don't want to have children, its just I am taking the pressure off of us. We want to have a child but we need to focus on life for a bit and get back to enjoying us without pressure and medications and doctors visit.
Ending on a happy note, here is a picture we took at the sushi place - my eyes are closed but its cute!
I had measurements for blinds taken the other day - by several companies and then made my choice of course. Today, they came and installed them. It changes the house completely. It looks so much better. We have been putting little touches on the guest room little by little. I wanted to change it since we live by the lake now. Something like beachy/lake house type of guest room. The bathroom in our LA home was already beach themed, so I did get to use a lot of that in this bathroom.
Changing gears, I must say I haven't felt of life where I was mostly stress free in a long time. Living in Louisiana was stressful in the fact that most of time we lived there, we had no real friends until the last few years we were there. As well as the job I held for the last 5 years. I am so much more calm and can make rational thoughts/decisions. Things that would have set me off into a rage have no affect on me - at all. Instead, I just take the pride in the things I have accomplished and not focus on the ignorance of others. Which for me, is totally amazing. You don't realize the things you are doing to yourself to cause all the stress in your life. For instance - I was putting way too much pressure on myself to accomplish things - in my work life and personal life, when I really shouldn't have. If I could have predicted the future, do you think I would have put my heart and soul into my work life if I knew what I knew now? The answer is plain as day: NO. Why? Because I was taken for granted. Like it was my "job" to do that. I was getting "paid" to do those things. That is fine, but in all fairness I cannot be more invested in something that isn't even mine. My personal life, I put strain on a lot of relationships - trying to perfect them or for me to be the perfect friend, sister, daughter, wife, ect. Which in all reality : spoiler alert : NO ONE IS PERFECT. It is a hard pill to swallow when you try so hard. Now I know this.
This brings me to the next thing I wanted to vent on. Well vent is not so much the right description. A few of my friends who have had a terrible time conceiving have finally conceived and are carrying healthy babies - It literally brings tears to my eyes and we could not be happier for them! With that being said - I am taking the stress off of Luis and I, we are not going forward with any fertility treatments and just going to live life until we are ready to persue that avenue again. My new goal is focus on losing around 40-50lbs so that I can have the skin removal surgery. I cannot live a life with excess skin just waiting for the day to come - because it hasn't and its been a year. Its really hard to care for so much excess tissue and its super aggravating knowing that you could buy/wear something you could look really good in if you didn't have all the extra skin. Although, I think if my skin was in excess in other areas than where it is at, it wouldn't be as bad. Almost all of mine is at the waist and below, so it makes even wearing jeans uncomfortable because the size that fits my waist is not the size the fits the excess skin, so then I have buy a size bigger and be constantly pulling them up so they don't fall off my rear!
Please don't misunderstand my comments and new goal. Its not that we don't want to have children, its just I am taking the pressure off of us. We want to have a child but we need to focus on life for a bit and get back to enjoying us without pressure and medications and doctors visit.
Ending on a happy note, here is a picture we took at the sushi place - my eyes are closed but its cute!
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Back Log!
I'll go ahead and apologize ahead of time - this is a going to be a long post, sorry!
We have been super busy. Tara and Cody came to visit a few weeks back, from OK. That was a lot of fun, because it made me unpack everything and get at least one other bedroom other than the master completely ready. Also made me finish the guest bathroom as well. Since we are so new to the area, we didn't know much of what to do, turns out Cody knew more about the historical aspects and sight seeing things of the city than we did. So our guest led us around! What a turn of events! We did have a lot of fun and cannot wait to go and visit them in OK.
I also did some temp work at the office me and the new doctor will be working at. It was for a periodontists that actually just moved from STL to Fort Worth and sees some patients in the area of Dallas we are located. I have to help them get better set up for him. It was a lot of fun and not to mention it was the first time I have actually "worked" in an office since leaving LA. It really was nice, and I even got paid!
The next week, I worked the first part of the week in the flower beds. I went and bought new flowers and bushes for the front flower bed. It looked kinda bare and needed some color. I also had to dig a trench to bury soaker hoses around the house (to help with foundation hydration). That was A LOT of work! It took me two days to do so. I want to plant a garden, I might do that this week. We do have a bunny friend, that I don't want him/her munching down on my garden! I have an empty bed next to the little patio on the side of the house that would be perfect for the garden. Any ideas of how to keep the bunny out - without violence?
We had a very successful garage sale/sale on craigslist. Strange here in The Colony - there is no real way to advertise the garage sale, but I do have to get permits for all my signs and to have the actual sale - all at no charge. There was so many people!!!! So many!! It didn't die down until right at the closing. We only have left one small tote of things, dining table, and a white shelf I used in my hall way in LA. Oh and also the dryer. But I am still trying to sell those on craigslist.
The new doctor has moved to Dallas, so last week was a lot of time at the office trying to sort through things to use, keep or toss. We met with a lot of reps to try and finalize some of the quotes we have received. We even sat down together (with the help of the rep being present) to make list of things to go in a cassette and also get a supply order together. There are a few things that we will have to get together at a later time, but that is no big deal.
My garbage disposal started leaking from the bottom on Sunday - looked up the problem. Turns out it is a flywheel seal. Also turns out you cannot buy them. So it aggravates me that I know the problem, and pretty sure I could do it with the help of Luis, but we can't buy the part. Today I am going to Lowes to get a new one.
I have more to talk about, but I have things to get accomplished today! But I will leave you a picture of the card that Tara and Cody sent me after their visit to The Colony! It is so great and creative!
We have been super busy. Tara and Cody came to visit a few weeks back, from OK. That was a lot of fun, because it made me unpack everything and get at least one other bedroom other than the master completely ready. Also made me finish the guest bathroom as well. Since we are so new to the area, we didn't know much of what to do, turns out Cody knew more about the historical aspects and sight seeing things of the city than we did. So our guest led us around! What a turn of events! We did have a lot of fun and cannot wait to go and visit them in OK.
I also did some temp work at the office me and the new doctor will be working at. It was for a periodontists that actually just moved from STL to Fort Worth and sees some patients in the area of Dallas we are located. I have to help them get better set up for him. It was a lot of fun and not to mention it was the first time I have actually "worked" in an office since leaving LA. It really was nice, and I even got paid!
The next week, I worked the first part of the week in the flower beds. I went and bought new flowers and bushes for the front flower bed. It looked kinda bare and needed some color. I also had to dig a trench to bury soaker hoses around the house (to help with foundation hydration). That was A LOT of work! It took me two days to do so. I want to plant a garden, I might do that this week. We do have a bunny friend, that I don't want him/her munching down on my garden! I have an empty bed next to the little patio on the side of the house that would be perfect for the garden. Any ideas of how to keep the bunny out - without violence?
We had a very successful garage sale/sale on craigslist. Strange here in The Colony - there is no real way to advertise the garage sale, but I do have to get permits for all my signs and to have the actual sale - all at no charge. There was so many people!!!! So many!! It didn't die down until right at the closing. We only have left one small tote of things, dining table, and a white shelf I used in my hall way in LA. Oh and also the dryer. But I am still trying to sell those on craigslist.
The new doctor has moved to Dallas, so last week was a lot of time at the office trying to sort through things to use, keep or toss. We met with a lot of reps to try and finalize some of the quotes we have received. We even sat down together (with the help of the rep being present) to make list of things to go in a cassette and also get a supply order together. There are a few things that we will have to get together at a later time, but that is no big deal.
My garbage disposal started leaking from the bottom on Sunday - looked up the problem. Turns out it is a flywheel seal. Also turns out you cannot buy them. So it aggravates me that I know the problem, and pretty sure I could do it with the help of Luis, but we can't buy the part. Today I am going to Lowes to get a new one.
I have more to talk about, but I have things to get accomplished today! But I will leave you a picture of the card that Tara and Cody sent me after their visit to The Colony! It is so great and creative!
Friday, May 23, 2014
New house!
Its been a while! I feel like I haven't posted in a month! Last Thursday, we closed on our new home in The Colony TX. Thursday was odd, the way they do things in Texas is strange. At closing, we did not get to meet the owners, nor did we get the keys to the house. We had to wait for the loan to fund, and the our Realtor would get the call from the closing people. Then we had to meet up with the sellers Realtor to get our keys. Needless to say it threw a wrench in the plans of how we were going to do the move from the temporary apartment to the house. After we had spoke to our mortgage company and they told us it would only take like 20 mins to fund the loan. So with that information, I didn't wanna go to far from the closing company. We had lunch close by and then went to Home Depot to look at a few things for the house that we knew we needed. Still no call and with 2 hours wasted, we headed back to the apartment to start packing the cars and cleaning. Luis packed the cars, while I cleaned the bathroom ( I hate cleaning the bathroom!!!) Then we got the call - we could get our keys! We had agreed that we would leave the cats at the apartment and take the two vehicles to the house and unload. Since all of our things were still in storage and not being delivered until the morning - we needed something to sleep on. Quick trip to Ikea ( love that store) and got a sofabed brought it back to the house. By this time it was close to 8. I still needed to vacuum and get the apartment set up the rest of the way. Luis also did one last load to his car. We left the apartment around 10PM completely finished and done with the apartment. My plan was to turn in the keys to the apartment that day, since we were going to be receiving our things in the AM.
Friday AM - the movers were almost 2 hours late. I had sent Luis to turn in all the things for the apartment and get us coffee - I was literally running on fumes! So since I did not know the movers were going to be you know 2 hours late, the cats and I sat out in the garage listening to Pandora while Luis went and got us breakfast, coffee, and returned the apartment things. Our new house is in a cul de sac, and its a rather narrow street. I see this huge 18 wheeler coming and who else would it be but the North American Vanlines with our stuff! They had one hell of a time getting in. Literally, it took about 30 mins for him to get into the street.
One thing - WE HAVE SOOOOO MUCH STUFF!! Its stuff I really like. Our furniture is giant compared to this house. It took all the had to get the living room furniture in. Also, the refrigerator - its a little too big for the kitchen, but I need it! The thing I was most concerned about not fitting was the washer and dryer - I love my washer and dryer - they fit - kind of. We are going to have to remove the doors on the laundry room, since we cannot close them. But thats not a big deal anyhow. Our dinning table has to go. Its huge, its almost the same size as the dining room.
We had bought furniture from a place called The Dump here in Dallas. We got a great price on a bed, night stand, and dresser - the bed even came with a huge pull out drawer. The plan was it was going to be delivered on Saturday. Friday, they had contacted us to set up a time for it all to be delivered. Saturday Morning we get a call from the salesman that they lost our bed, but they had a leather one they could give us. Dude, I have 2 cats - leather is not an option in this house! So I said no, that we would come down there to look at the other options. There was nothing I wanted there. Not a single person even spoke to us - so you know me, I was pissed and just went and got a refund. Told Luis lets go to Ikea and see what they have. Long story short - we got a complete bedroom set, bed w/storage 2 night stands, 1 tall dresser, and 1 smaller dresser withe media area, my kitchen pantry, kitchen utensils, curtains for the laundry room, and bed sheets for $500.00 less than the stuff I returned at the dump. That also included delivery and set up. Just for the record - the people that build the Ikea every day still have trouble with it! It took them about 4 hours to build it all at the house on Monday - I'm glad to know its just not Luis and I that have problems with it.
I have not be online all this past week and this week because I have been unpacking EVERY box and reorganizing everything. The kitchen in the new house if VERY small compared to the one in our other home. So I had to get creative on how to house things and had to purge a lot of stuff to the yardsale boxes. I am happy to report that all boxes have been open, unpacked, boxes broken down, and either put up or put out for the yardsale. I have been very busy! I honestly thought I was going to have problems with this house, but I actually love it. Even if it is smaller and older, it really is wonderful.
The previous owners are so thoughtful and sweet. They left little notes around the house, an emergency pizza in the freezer, and a bottle of champagne in refrigerator with a red bow for the cardinals. They are so sweet, and I wish we could have actually been able to meet them and actually really talk to them! I mean we bought their baby of 30 years! I plan on sending them a card and just address it to this address and hope it gets forwarded to them.
We are also officially Texans now, we have new car license plates, drivers license, and even toll tags for our cars.
More to come later - we actually have friends coming to visit this weekend! Yay to our first visitors!
Friday AM - the movers were almost 2 hours late. I had sent Luis to turn in all the things for the apartment and get us coffee - I was literally running on fumes! So since I did not know the movers were going to be you know 2 hours late, the cats and I sat out in the garage listening to Pandora while Luis went and got us breakfast, coffee, and returned the apartment things. Our new house is in a cul de sac, and its a rather narrow street. I see this huge 18 wheeler coming and who else would it be but the North American Vanlines with our stuff! They had one hell of a time getting in. Literally, it took about 30 mins for him to get into the street.
One thing - WE HAVE SOOOOO MUCH STUFF!! Its stuff I really like. Our furniture is giant compared to this house. It took all the had to get the living room furniture in. Also, the refrigerator - its a little too big for the kitchen, but I need it! The thing I was most concerned about not fitting was the washer and dryer - I love my washer and dryer - they fit - kind of. We are going to have to remove the doors on the laundry room, since we cannot close them. But thats not a big deal anyhow. Our dinning table has to go. Its huge, its almost the same size as the dining room.
We had bought furniture from a place called The Dump here in Dallas. We got a great price on a bed, night stand, and dresser - the bed even came with a huge pull out drawer. The plan was it was going to be delivered on Saturday. Friday, they had contacted us to set up a time for it all to be delivered. Saturday Morning we get a call from the salesman that they lost our bed, but they had a leather one they could give us. Dude, I have 2 cats - leather is not an option in this house! So I said no, that we would come down there to look at the other options. There was nothing I wanted there. Not a single person even spoke to us - so you know me, I was pissed and just went and got a refund. Told Luis lets go to Ikea and see what they have. Long story short - we got a complete bedroom set, bed w/storage 2 night stands, 1 tall dresser, and 1 smaller dresser withe media area, my kitchen pantry, kitchen utensils, curtains for the laundry room, and bed sheets for $500.00 less than the stuff I returned at the dump. That also included delivery and set up. Just for the record - the people that build the Ikea every day still have trouble with it! It took them about 4 hours to build it all at the house on Monday - I'm glad to know its just not Luis and I that have problems with it.
I have not be online all this past week and this week because I have been unpacking EVERY box and reorganizing everything. The kitchen in the new house if VERY small compared to the one in our other home. So I had to get creative on how to house things and had to purge a lot of stuff to the yardsale boxes. I am happy to report that all boxes have been open, unpacked, boxes broken down, and either put up or put out for the yardsale. I have been very busy! I honestly thought I was going to have problems with this house, but I actually love it. Even if it is smaller and older, it really is wonderful.
The previous owners are so thoughtful and sweet. They left little notes around the house, an emergency pizza in the freezer, and a bottle of champagne in refrigerator with a red bow for the cardinals. They are so sweet, and I wish we could have actually been able to meet them and actually really talk to them! I mean we bought their baby of 30 years! I plan on sending them a card and just address it to this address and hope it gets forwarded to them.
We are also officially Texans now, we have new car license plates, drivers license, and even toll tags for our cars.
More to come later - we actually have friends coming to visit this weekend! Yay to our first visitors!
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
The crazy week begins ...
The crazy week begins! This is the week we close on the house and get out of this temporary housing! Also Doctor came for a surprise-ish visit. I had 1 days notice to put together some meetings with dental reps and the weekend to check out some apartment options for him.
Since I got the heads up he would be here for Tuesday - my slow- non-stressing-the-cats-out-plan went out the window. I packed pretty much the entire apartment on Monday. The cats - SUPER creeped out. Rico even hid! Poor guy! They will be so much more happy in the house, but they are cats, they don't like change! So all the boxes are in the tiny door area.
Today Doctor and I looked at several apartments to try to narrow down some of the options out there. Seen some decent ones, but I don't think he has found the one that shouts out to him just yet. We met with the Patterson rep at the office. I got to take some xrays using a digital sensor - my first time ever. That was interesting. Its very nice how fast the image appears, but will take some getting used to.
Tomorrow is very more crazy. I have to go and get the cashiers check for the closing amount on the house for Thursday, we have the final walk thru at 1PM,but before that we will meet with Benco rep to look at another sensor and look at supplies. Tomorrow is going to fly by. Hopefully Doctor will have made a final choice about which apartment he likes.
We will be looks like one day without internet - the night we move into the house. Hopefully our things arrive early that way the ATT install guy will not have to worry about the movers doing their thing while he is doing his thing.
Everyone keep your fingers crossed that all things go as planned!
Since I got the heads up he would be here for Tuesday - my slow- non-stressing-the-cats-out-plan went out the window. I packed pretty much the entire apartment on Monday. The cats - SUPER creeped out. Rico even hid! Poor guy! They will be so much more happy in the house, but they are cats, they don't like change! So all the boxes are in the tiny door area.
Today Doctor and I looked at several apartments to try to narrow down some of the options out there. Seen some decent ones, but I don't think he has found the one that shouts out to him just yet. We met with the Patterson rep at the office. I got to take some xrays using a digital sensor - my first time ever. That was interesting. Its very nice how fast the image appears, but will take some getting used to.
Tomorrow is very more crazy. I have to go and get the cashiers check for the closing amount on the house for Thursday, we have the final walk thru at 1PM,but before that we will meet with Benco rep to look at another sensor and look at supplies. Tomorrow is going to fly by. Hopefully Doctor will have made a final choice about which apartment he likes.
We will be looks like one day without internet - the night we move into the house. Hopefully our things arrive early that way the ATT install guy will not have to worry about the movers doing their thing while he is doing his thing.
Everyone keep your fingers crossed that all things go as planned!
Monday, May 12, 2014
End of Employment - start of another
As many of you know - I suffer often with depression, that's reason I have to stay busy to just keep things off my mind.
Last week I made the decision - while painful to me - to cut ties totally with the old office. I literally got a flat rate box from the post office and packaged all the ordering things up and sent it on its way to Hailey. I just know me, if I had not done it, there is no way I would be able to succeed at my new job that is going to be starting in no time. Despite the whole not being paid part, I did enjoy being helpful. But my being helpful was turned into hateful, terrible, mean things. So I a done!
I have plenty going on with the new job here in Dallas. According to all things in conversation, things should start up maybe in the mid part of June. Which actually will work out perfectly as we are about to move into our house.
Our closing on the new home in The Colony is on Thursday. The plan is to pack up both cars and move 2 loads of things to the new house, so that I can clean and bring the cats back and we will stay the night in the new house and give the keys back on this temporary housing. I want to spend the entire time at the house with the cats after we get there to help them settle in, because the next day all of our stuff is going to be delivered, to them and probably me - all hell will break lose!
I'm so excited this new chapter in our life is moving along so well. Things for us have been the best they have been in years. I am so glad Luis moved us away from Louisiana to experience all these new things!
I guess I should probably start working on some packing while it is raining here in North Texas - this is only the 3 time in about 5 weeks that it has rained!!!
Last week I made the decision - while painful to me - to cut ties totally with the old office. I literally got a flat rate box from the post office and packaged all the ordering things up and sent it on its way to Hailey. I just know me, if I had not done it, there is no way I would be able to succeed at my new job that is going to be starting in no time. Despite the whole not being paid part, I did enjoy being helpful. But my being helpful was turned into hateful, terrible, mean things. So I a done!
I have plenty going on with the new job here in Dallas. According to all things in conversation, things should start up maybe in the mid part of June. Which actually will work out perfectly as we are about to move into our house.
Our closing on the new home in The Colony is on Thursday. The plan is to pack up both cars and move 2 loads of things to the new house, so that I can clean and bring the cats back and we will stay the night in the new house and give the keys back on this temporary housing. I want to spend the entire time at the house with the cats after we get there to help them settle in, because the next day all of our stuff is going to be delivered, to them and probably me - all hell will break lose!
I'm so excited this new chapter in our life is moving along so well. Things for us have been the best they have been in years. I am so glad Luis moved us away from Louisiana to experience all these new things!
I guess I should probably start working on some packing while it is raining here in North Texas - this is only the 3 time in about 5 weeks that it has rained!!!
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Mother's Day
Mother's Day this year, I am in a different focus on me. Last year at this time, I felt like a complete and utter failure because I tried so hard to become a mother, but had not. Jealous of everyone with a child, even people I didn't even know. I'm not going to lie, this one was hard too, but in a different way. I was a little depressed, but then I thought to myself - I am a mother in a sense. I am a cat mom - these cats depend on me for everything and look to me to console them (even when they are being dramatic) which is much like having a child. So this Mother's Day I was grateful to have 2 furbabies - Mango and Rico.
One thing I notice this year, more than any other year on Facebook, were individuals including people like myself, (struggling w/infertility) in their Mother's Day post. It really shows me that a lot of people are either struggling with it themselves or have someone in their life very close to them that is suffering from infertility.
This infertility is more widespread than ever. I'd like to go back in history and see how many people our parents age struggled with infertility. After reading a lot into artificial sweeteners, chemicals in our foods, and just all around junk food - I think it mostly has to do with what we are eating and how are bodies are reacting to it. I think that people that are still able to have children and do not treat their bodies appropriately food/drug/alcohol wise - just have strong genes that can overcome it. I have noticed so many things in my own body that have changed since removing some things from my diet. Its always fantastic to challenge your body by removing something from you diet and seeing how your body reacts. I have noticed since losing weight, that my body is doing things more "regular". During this whole30 challenge I have been doing - I have noticed all the impurities in my body coming out in the form of acne on my body. Which also happened whenever I first started Take Shape for Life- http://smulero.tsfl.com/. All those added things in your diet before trying to be healthier come out in that form. I had a few days of cheating during the move - and I am paying for it with acne - my face is a mess right now. But I can tell the cells are healing again because my face is clearing up - no new offenders!
These are all my personal opinions based on data and research I have read since becoming empowered to change myself. I am not a doctor or dietitian - but a self knowledge based nutritionist based off of many books/studies I have read by real doctors. I can physically see the difference in what is going on my body by eating nothing that is processed. It's quiet amazing!
BTW - Happy Mother's Day!
One thing I notice this year, more than any other year on Facebook, were individuals including people like myself, (struggling w/infertility) in their Mother's Day post. It really shows me that a lot of people are either struggling with it themselves or have someone in their life very close to them that is suffering from infertility.
This infertility is more widespread than ever. I'd like to go back in history and see how many people our parents age struggled with infertility. After reading a lot into artificial sweeteners, chemicals in our foods, and just all around junk food - I think it mostly has to do with what we are eating and how are bodies are reacting to it. I think that people that are still able to have children and do not treat their bodies appropriately food/drug/alcohol wise - just have strong genes that can overcome it. I have noticed so many things in my own body that have changed since removing some things from my diet. Its always fantastic to challenge your body by removing something from you diet and seeing how your body reacts. I have noticed since losing weight, that my body is doing things more "regular". During this whole30 challenge I have been doing - I have noticed all the impurities in my body coming out in the form of acne on my body. Which also happened whenever I first started Take Shape for Life- http://smulero.tsfl.com/. All those added things in your diet before trying to be healthier come out in that form. I had a few days of cheating during the move - and I am paying for it with acne - my face is a mess right now. But I can tell the cells are healing again because my face is clearing up - no new offenders!
These are all my personal opinions based on data and research I have read since becoming empowered to change myself. I am not a doctor or dietitian - but a self knowledge based nutritionist based off of many books/studies I have read by real doctors. I can physically see the difference in what is going on my body by eating nothing that is processed. It's quiet amazing!
BTW - Happy Mother's Day!
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Unappreciated
Let me first state this, there is certain times I wish I could fine tune who could read this and couldn't, but that would defeat my purpose for this blog. I wanted a blog where I could publicly state my feelings, thoughts, and journey through weight loss. With that being said, I know some of you who talk behind my back to the doctor and probably patients, read this to keep up with me, because I have blocked you on Facebook and you have come to know that I really am not your friend. That's what happens when you treat people terrible. They treat you with respect while they have to, but I no longer have to. I never have respected you and never will, you are a lazy, disrespectful, liar, and just all around bad person. If you are reading this and taking offense to this, then good.
As I have stated many times over and over - I am still working for the office I left a few months ago. That's about to change. I am placing the orders for this month, making a few signs, and sending some emails - I am finished. I am really done with being unappreciated and disrespected. I was trying to be the bigger person in the situation and do the right thing. I have never been paid for anything I have done since I left the office including the trip back to the said office for the commercial. I feel that I deserve better than that. Even if I see that they don't. And that "they" is not everyone in the said office.
I think I am mostly hurt because the people that said "I always had their back" and that were my "friends" ( I had VERY few actual friends in LA), are the ones being the most ignorant. There is so much I could say about them, so much. Things I chose to be too small of an issue to bring up to the boss, I felt like I was being being petty, but I wasn't they were being wrong - and I should have said something. And I am.
If you are a real and true friend of mine, then you know I will do anything for you - that's legal - I do have some boundaries. I will sacrifice things to help real friends out, I honestly love helping people that will be there for me. And in LA especially it was hard for me to find those people, so the ones that I did consider a true friend I went above and beyond for on most occasions. I mean in all honesty - I even did it for people I didn't really like. Like leading them all around Houston on my birthday weekend. It was supposed to be a weekend getaway for me and Luis - to get away from people that aggravated me at work - well that doesn't work so well, when they are literally following you.
So in closing, enjoy it while you can because things are about to change!
As I have stated many times over and over - I am still working for the office I left a few months ago. That's about to change. I am placing the orders for this month, making a few signs, and sending some emails - I am finished. I am really done with being unappreciated and disrespected. I was trying to be the bigger person in the situation and do the right thing. I have never been paid for anything I have done since I left the office including the trip back to the said office for the commercial. I feel that I deserve better than that. Even if I see that they don't. And that "they" is not everyone in the said office.
I think I am mostly hurt because the people that said "I always had their back" and that were my "friends" ( I had VERY few actual friends in LA), are the ones being the most ignorant. There is so much I could say about them, so much. Things I chose to be too small of an issue to bring up to the boss, I felt like I was being being petty, but I wasn't they were being wrong - and I should have said something. And I am.
If you are a real and true friend of mine, then you know I will do anything for you - that's legal - I do have some boundaries. I will sacrifice things to help real friends out, I honestly love helping people that will be there for me. And in LA especially it was hard for me to find those people, so the ones that I did consider a true friend I went above and beyond for on most occasions. I mean in all honesty - I even did it for people I didn't really like. Like leading them all around Houston on my birthday weekend. It was supposed to be a weekend getaway for me and Luis - to get away from people that aggravated me at work - well that doesn't work so well, when they are literally following you.
So in closing, enjoy it while you can because things are about to change!
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Make yourself accountable ..
Every morning since starting this #whole30 challenge, I have either walked 3 miles or more or did some strength training in the gym. I am not sure if everyone does this, but when I'm working out - whether it walking, jogging, circuit work outs - I think about everything. I think about goals, the past, how far I and Luis have come on our journey to be more healthy. This has always been that way - my entire life. I am constantly thinking about all sorts of things.
Its one thing to think it, but if you never say it aloud - its never something that you feel like you have to follow through with it. So any real goal that I want to attain, I make myself accountable by saying it aloud. It doesn't matter if you are by yourself or in a room full of who evers, saying it aloud makes you feel guilty if you are not following it later. Atleast for me.
Back when I first started my weight loss journey - I was in a different mind set - not particularly a great one. But I learned from that, became more positive and focused. I figured out, that if I just used the amount of energy I was using to complain and moan about how the goal was not attainable and how much I was missing out, that I would succeed. If I vested all that time and energy into my health and goals, I would have to succeed. In all honesty - the complaining was probably taking up 65% of my life. That was a pivital moment in my life to change my mind set. You want to know where I decided to make myself accountable? The bathroom at work in January. I had a not so great AM with a few co workers and was in the bathroom to take myself out of the situation. At that moment, I knew it was time for a change - I said aloud in the bathroom " I am going to use all the effort of my complaining and my aggravation from _____ to make this goal happen" I had lost almost 30lbs effortlessly, so if you invest in yourself, it actually comes off even easier.
We grow up in a world, were it is more acceptable to be down on yourself that to have self worth and to feel like you deserve to be healthy. That ranges from mental abuse from friends, family, and even yourself. The food companies changing the make up of our foods to make us addicted to terrible products. The government agencies, (FDA) allowing food companies to do this and to make them the most affordable way to eat. Eating healthy is expensive - but so are medications that you likely will be taking for your entire life if you continue to eat "food" that comes from a box on a shelf at your local store. I'm not going to lie and tell you that I will never eat anything that comes from a box again - because that's a lie - I love oreos as much as the next person. I will have oreos OCCASIONALLY. I like to have a night out with my husband and/or friends. I'll have chips at a Mexican restaurant and even a drink. With that being said, it doesn't mean I am going to do it weekly. Just occasionally. To keep myself in the best of health, I know I have to get back to basics.
I like to think that whenever my grandma was a child, that even though she told me about the great depression - and they were dirt poor, I still think she was healthier than some children today. That was a time before the FDA and giant conglomerates that changed the actual make up regular food to make them shelf stable for years ... something shouldn't be able to sit on a shelf for years - that's not food, its a science experiment. She taught me how to can veggies that were from the garden and in season. How to pick fresh berries like black berries and freeze some for whenever we'd want to make something after their season had ended. How to properly freeze the turkey, deer, fish, and other game that our family brought home during their season. That's what I think we all should strive to get back to. The older I get, the wiser I get, and then realize my grandma really was right about a lot of things she told and taught me as a child. I cannot wait to either go home and get healthy beef and pork from my dad or him to come visit us here and bring some gifts!
Bottom line - make yourself accountable to your goals!!!!
Its one thing to think it, but if you never say it aloud - its never something that you feel like you have to follow through with it. So any real goal that I want to attain, I make myself accountable by saying it aloud. It doesn't matter if you are by yourself or in a room full of who evers, saying it aloud makes you feel guilty if you are not following it later. Atleast for me.
Back when I first started my weight loss journey - I was in a different mind set - not particularly a great one. But I learned from that, became more positive and focused. I figured out, that if I just used the amount of energy I was using to complain and moan about how the goal was not attainable and how much I was missing out, that I would succeed. If I vested all that time and energy into my health and goals, I would have to succeed. In all honesty - the complaining was probably taking up 65% of my life. That was a pivital moment in my life to change my mind set. You want to know where I decided to make myself accountable? The bathroom at work in January. I had a not so great AM with a few co workers and was in the bathroom to take myself out of the situation. At that moment, I knew it was time for a change - I said aloud in the bathroom " I am going to use all the effort of my complaining and my aggravation from _____ to make this goal happen" I had lost almost 30lbs effortlessly, so if you invest in yourself, it actually comes off even easier.
We grow up in a world, were it is more acceptable to be down on yourself that to have self worth and to feel like you deserve to be healthy. That ranges from mental abuse from friends, family, and even yourself. The food companies changing the make up of our foods to make us addicted to terrible products. The government agencies, (FDA) allowing food companies to do this and to make them the most affordable way to eat. Eating healthy is expensive - but so are medications that you likely will be taking for your entire life if you continue to eat "food" that comes from a box on a shelf at your local store. I'm not going to lie and tell you that I will never eat anything that comes from a box again - because that's a lie - I love oreos as much as the next person. I will have oreos OCCASIONALLY. I like to have a night out with my husband and/or friends. I'll have chips at a Mexican restaurant and even a drink. With that being said, it doesn't mean I am going to do it weekly. Just occasionally. To keep myself in the best of health, I know I have to get back to basics.
I like to think that whenever my grandma was a child, that even though she told me about the great depression - and they were dirt poor, I still think she was healthier than some children today. That was a time before the FDA and giant conglomerates that changed the actual make up regular food to make them shelf stable for years ... something shouldn't be able to sit on a shelf for years - that's not food, its a science experiment. She taught me how to can veggies that were from the garden and in season. How to pick fresh berries like black berries and freeze some for whenever we'd want to make something after their season had ended. How to properly freeze the turkey, deer, fish, and other game that our family brought home during their season. That's what I think we all should strive to get back to. The older I get, the wiser I get, and then realize my grandma really was right about a lot of things she told and taught me as a child. I cannot wait to either go home and get healthy beef and pork from my dad or him to come visit us here and bring some gifts!
Bottom line - make yourself accountable to your goals!!!!
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Following the footsteps of a powerful woman ...
I have been struggling with what to do since I don't have a "9 to 5" job. Sleeping in until 10AM and then staying up until midnight - makes me feel like I am in college again. As much as I loved those days, they are behind me and I was a much different person compared to now. So, trying to figure out how to get out of this slump and preform like a normal adult was a little challenging. But then it dawned on me ... I will do just as my grandma Joyce did. Thinking about it .. she did not HAVE to get up, but she did in the AM and fixed everyone breakfast and started her first load of wash. Then she did the dishes from breakfast and cleaned the kitchen. Then she did a little cleaning and then started the farm chores of the house. I have no farm, but I have laundry, breakfast, and a kitchen. So that's what I have been trying to do this week. Give myself meaning for getting up at 6AM and being productive.
I mean sure, I do work for both Dr. Finleys, but its in the late morning and afternoon.
I ran out of K-cups for my coffee machine, so I thought I'll just buy a bag coffee,which should last us the rest our stay here, and use the furnished coffee pot. Today was my first pot. Granted, I have not made coffee in a traditional coffee pot since my grandma passed away. I made a mess trying to pour it in +Luis travel mug and in my giant coffee mug that +Anastacia got me at Christmas time. Hopefully tomorrow morning will go better!
My friend Tara text me to set up an awesome weekend. I haven't seen her I think in about 2 years! It will be very awesome to see her and catch up. Plus she will be the first to visit our new house!! Pretty much right after we move in, but I am totally okay with that!!!
I mean sure, I do work for both Dr. Finleys, but its in the late morning and afternoon.
I ran out of K-cups for my coffee machine, so I thought I'll just buy a bag coffee,which should last us the rest our stay here, and use the furnished coffee pot. Today was my first pot. Granted, I have not made coffee in a traditional coffee pot since my grandma passed away. I made a mess trying to pour it in +Luis travel mug and in my giant coffee mug that +Anastacia got me at Christmas time. Hopefully tomorrow morning will go better!
My friend Tara text me to set up an awesome weekend. I haven't seen her I think in about 2 years! It will be very awesome to see her and catch up. Plus she will be the first to visit our new house!! Pretty much right after we move in, but I am totally okay with that!!!
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
The Fixer
I don't know about you all, but I love the show "Scandal" ...... and sometimes I feel like the Olivia Pope of the dentistry world. I know, it is dramatic sounding, but usually when someone reaches out to me is when everything is going down fast and not looking good. So then I swoop in and well quite frankly fix it.
Some people I will never understand, some I do understand and wish I didn't, and some well quite frankly I try to stay far away from them so I am not tempted to try to understand them! But one thing I do not understand is when you interview someone, they are one person. Then the day they start getting a pay check, the morph into this entire person that you didn't even imagine could be hiding there. Whatever happened to trying to please your boss and trying to get a long with all your co workers - even if you couldn't stand the sight of their face? I was raised back in the good ole Midwest, that you are nice to everyone, even if you don't like them - there is always a few exceptions, don't get me wrong. But this talking behind peoples back at work, making fun of people at work, and just making up you own whatever as you go along - where did this come from??? Also, another issue I have come across, people having problem with there being management. Not with the person who is the manager - but that there is management - they would rather have a free for all. Not me. I like structure and dependability.
So today, I help solve a crisis at 7AM. Go me! You are awesome Sara Mulero aka Dental office fixer! haha I guess I need a pat on the back from myself? I'll take it! Hopefully all works out to the best of its abilities. I know karma will be there for all the others involved and that things will work themselves out,but I just hate to see it have to happen like that. Lets all be adults .... I know .. novel idea - MATURITY!
Yesterday, the first day of the whole30 went very well. I was up early with +Luis , to make some breakfast and his lunch. Then I went for a walk to the gym here on the apartment grounds. Its a pretty nice gym, actually .. kinda weird to me. There was a few people in there that didn't bother me - but then a girl with her personal trainer came in. Now, I have no problem with a personal trainer - don't get me wrong - but when the dude is eating a muffin and having some coffee and they are merely just chatting all along while he is looking at me in the mirror on the wall - I tend to get self conscious. I am not going to lie to you all - I don't like going to the gym because of whenever I was heavier - there is always the stares and the gawkers. I have become a lot better in dealing with it, but I guess yesterday just wasn't my day. I did the elliptical for 30 mins and then 30 mins of weight machines and then kinda sorta jogged back to the apartment. Not the entire way, but hey - I gotta start somewhere. I really would like to be a runner - its strange, even to me that I want this. But I do. So baby steps, I'll start with very light jogging and work up my strength. It will come sooner or later if I just keep at it.
Monday, April 28, 2014
Whole 30 challenge
First and foremost, I'd like to start with saying we should all pray and keep those affected by the Midwest tornadoes yesterday in our our prayers and thoughts. I haven't seen or remember a tornado that had an 80 mile storm path, that's a VERY strong storm.
Yesterday I received a call from my cousin Carly. We don't talk often (like most of my family) but when we do its nice to catch up and just talk to those you love. We talk about the past, present, and even goals for this year. Just when you think you are so different from those you grow up with, you quickly see how maybe your paths are not that far off in the future!
So the title of this entry is Whole 30 Challenge, and for good reason. +Luis and I are going to do this challenge and see how we feel after 30 days. Basically we have been following a lot of these protocols post weight loss, but noticing different things with our bodies, that lead me to believe that we need to eliminate dairy, grains, all processed foods. On Take Shape for Life the foods are processed by medical doctors to help you lose weight, and I would never change that part of my life, but for the future and becoming even more healthy I want to take it up a notch for us both.
We are going to be eating more protein that we have to help stimulate better hormone function and facilitate more energy. Even though we aren't going to the gym or doing some regime of work out programs, we are having a more active lifestyle and we both experience energy slumps. So why not try something for 30 days and see what happens. Since I am going to be at this apartment complex for a few more weeks, there is gym here - small and limited - but FREE! I am challenging myself to at least 30 minutes of work out a day. Ideally I would like to do an hour - but sometimes you just get bored in there. I do struggle with boredom often!
If you would like to do the Whole 30 challenge with +Luis and I send me a message on here, text me, facebook, and even email me. I'll help you get on board! It is a bit drastic, but I am confident it will be awesome. It has nothing to do with the program we lost weight on, but I do believe it can help just about anyone.
Yesterday I received a call from my cousin Carly. We don't talk often (like most of my family) but when we do its nice to catch up and just talk to those you love. We talk about the past, present, and even goals for this year. Just when you think you are so different from those you grow up with, you quickly see how maybe your paths are not that far off in the future!
So the title of this entry is Whole 30 Challenge, and for good reason. +Luis and I are going to do this challenge and see how we feel after 30 days. Basically we have been following a lot of these protocols post weight loss, but noticing different things with our bodies, that lead me to believe that we need to eliminate dairy, grains, all processed foods. On Take Shape for Life the foods are processed by medical doctors to help you lose weight, and I would never change that part of my life, but for the future and becoming even more healthy I want to take it up a notch for us both.
We are going to be eating more protein that we have to help stimulate better hormone function and facilitate more energy. Even though we aren't going to the gym or doing some regime of work out programs, we are having a more active lifestyle and we both experience energy slumps. So why not try something for 30 days and see what happens. Since I am going to be at this apartment complex for a few more weeks, there is gym here - small and limited - but FREE! I am challenging myself to at least 30 minutes of work out a day. Ideally I would like to do an hour - but sometimes you just get bored in there. I do struggle with boredom often!
If you would like to do the Whole 30 challenge with +Luis and I send me a message on here, text me, facebook, and even email me. I'll help you get on board! It is a bit drastic, but I am confident it will be awesome. It has nothing to do with the program we lost weight on, but I do believe it can help just about anyone.
Friday, April 25, 2014
Life and the funny things that you come across...
Today is one of those days, where I look back and think of the funny things I have come across. The simple people, the complex people +Brent Frick (LOL), the hilarious things that happen, and the impact I have had on peoples lives - both good and bad.
I have found, even with myself, whenever you are talking about someone else and seeing what they are doing as bad (even if it isn't) you are trying to cover something up in your person life by attacking someone else. I worked with someone like that, at my last job. This person was my "friend" to begin with but by the end hated me and bad mouthed me anytime this person had the chance. After talking to an old friend today, it dawned on me why this person hated me so much. I had the life this person wanted. Even though my life isn't this amazing fairy tale type thing, I'd like to think I have a pretty blessed and amazing life and work hard for everything in it. I have a wonderful supporting and love husband and our relationship is always great with continued work - like EVERY relationship, I have made amazing friends in multiple states and even countries, I have had very personally fulfilling career - no matter what it was, and I have a supportive family both mine and my husbands. (supportive in their own ways - haha) Sure I have fertility problems, weight issues, and trust problems - which I am extremely vocal/honest about to everyone I meet, but I always strive to over come those things. I lost the weight - its a continue worked for keeping it off, dealing with both the fertility and trust problems - and I might add trying to make all things better. I always have goals, then I even have more goals. What the most important goal to me? Always trying to be better than I was a day ago, an hour ago, a year ago - that is my goal. I always strive to be my best. Though, there are days where you just want to give up - sure we ALL have them.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you hate me because I am trying to better myself - Thanks!! You motivate me to keep trying to be better.
That also goes for people who talk about other behind their backs. I always like to find out that people that I haven't thought about in a while are still talking about me. I am happy that I made such an impact on their life, that they take the time out of their day, their life to still talk about me - whether I made them happy, glad or just plain miserable. That again is just more motivation to keep on being the awesome person I am becoming and will never stop growing!
In all fairness, the great people I have met and had an impact on their life is far greater than the haters that I have impacted. But usually its the haters that you hear about rather than the best people - because those best people you never lose contact with. Just the haters - because they were probably being fake and not worth you time to begin with!
I have found, even with myself, whenever you are talking about someone else and seeing what they are doing as bad (even if it isn't) you are trying to cover something up in your person life by attacking someone else. I worked with someone like that, at my last job. This person was my "friend" to begin with but by the end hated me and bad mouthed me anytime this person had the chance. After talking to an old friend today, it dawned on me why this person hated me so much. I had the life this person wanted. Even though my life isn't this amazing fairy tale type thing, I'd like to think I have a pretty blessed and amazing life and work hard for everything in it. I have a wonderful supporting and love husband and our relationship is always great with continued work - like EVERY relationship, I have made amazing friends in multiple states and even countries, I have had very personally fulfilling career - no matter what it was, and I have a supportive family both mine and my husbands. (supportive in their own ways - haha) Sure I have fertility problems, weight issues, and trust problems - which I am extremely vocal/honest about to everyone I meet, but I always strive to over come those things. I lost the weight - its a continue worked for keeping it off, dealing with both the fertility and trust problems - and I might add trying to make all things better. I always have goals, then I even have more goals. What the most important goal to me? Always trying to be better than I was a day ago, an hour ago, a year ago - that is my goal. I always strive to be my best. Though, there are days where you just want to give up - sure we ALL have them.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you hate me because I am trying to better myself - Thanks!! You motivate me to keep trying to be better.
That also goes for people who talk about other behind their backs. I always like to find out that people that I haven't thought about in a while are still talking about me. I am happy that I made such an impact on their life, that they take the time out of their day, their life to still talk about me - whether I made them happy, glad or just plain miserable. That again is just more motivation to keep on being the awesome person I am becoming and will never stop growing!
In all fairness, the great people I have met and had an impact on their life is far greater than the haters that I have impacted. But usually its the haters that you hear about rather than the best people - because those best people you never lose contact with. Just the haters - because they were probably being fake and not worth you time to begin with!
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Meeting the Dams
On Thursday, I went to The Colony ( the new house) for the foundation inspection. I actually was surprised to meet the current owner of the home. His name is Gary Dam. I, of course STL proud, had my cardinals shirt on. Which in itself is risky since I am literally in Rangers territory. Anyhow, that sparked a conversation about where I was from. And to my surprise his wife is from Sullivan! And even more strange, the know about Rolla and have been there! Crazy! That just made it more apparent that this house was meant to be ours!!!
Foundation is stable and Gary has been doing all sorts of "repairs" he didn't even have to do. We really hit the jackpot on finding a home where the owners are like Luis and I, in the fact that they built this house 30 years ago and its like they are giving away their baby. Also fun fact, several people in the cul de sac are original owners. So fun! As part of the repairs we asked to have done, was replace the ceiling in the garage, instead they countered with we could keep the refrigerator and washer and dryer. Even though I have those appliances, ours may be too large anyhow, so this is a good thing.
Yesterday, Luis and I walked some of the trails here in Carrollton, just so that we could get out of the apartment. The weather was amazing. I got a little sun but nothing too bad. We ended up walking 7 miles round trip, without really realizing it until about the last 20 mins of the walk when my calves started to really hurt! I had not planned appropriately food or hydration wise. So with that being said we had missed like 3 meals and I had not had anything to drink until we came across a park with a drinking fountain. I really enjoyed it, I have blisters on my feet to prove it! LOL. We went to get some coconut water to re-hydrate with and then headed to Panera (YAY!!) for some lunch. The last time I had Panera was with Amy and Angie in Springfield MO like a year ago. I love being in Panera country again!
We seen a lot of people on bikes yesterday during the walk. My friend Karen just got a bike and loves it. I seen these people on the bikes go by several times, as they were doing several laps. It would be more enjoyable on a bike I think, we could actually not be so tired after seeing the entire trail. We went to a store REI to look at some bikes. Luis has been wanting to go in that store, for what reason I am not sure, since he isn't the most outdoor loving guy. I am excited to get a bike for sure! Even Luis is too. I think the move to Texas will be good for our hopefully more physically active lifestyle. There is a large bike shop here that offers awesome bikes used at fantastic prices. I think our plan is to get some bikes there, once we are our house.
Also on our walk we came across a neighborhood library, which was super awesome! The idea was that you could take a book and they'd like you to put another book in there. After you read the book, you put your name in there and then return it. Its just outside someones yard, its sooo awesome! There was some magazines in there, so I have some really good ones that I could put in there! I cannot wait to go back by it!
I hope everyone had a great Easter Holiday! Ours was quiet, and since all of our things are in storage the cats did not get to have their annual easter egg hunt in the house. But we did celebrate Rico's Birthday on Thursday evening!
Foundation is stable and Gary has been doing all sorts of "repairs" he didn't even have to do. We really hit the jackpot on finding a home where the owners are like Luis and I, in the fact that they built this house 30 years ago and its like they are giving away their baby. Also fun fact, several people in the cul de sac are original owners. So fun! As part of the repairs we asked to have done, was replace the ceiling in the garage, instead they countered with we could keep the refrigerator and washer and dryer. Even though I have those appliances, ours may be too large anyhow, so this is a good thing.
Yesterday, Luis and I walked some of the trails here in Carrollton, just so that we could get out of the apartment. The weather was amazing. I got a little sun but nothing too bad. We ended up walking 7 miles round trip, without really realizing it until about the last 20 mins of the walk when my calves started to really hurt! I had not planned appropriately food or hydration wise. So with that being said we had missed like 3 meals and I had not had anything to drink until we came across a park with a drinking fountain. I really enjoyed it, I have blisters on my feet to prove it! LOL. We went to get some coconut water to re-hydrate with and then headed to Panera (YAY!!) for some lunch. The last time I had Panera was with Amy and Angie in Springfield MO like a year ago. I love being in Panera country again!
We seen a lot of people on bikes yesterday during the walk. My friend Karen just got a bike and loves it. I seen these people on the bikes go by several times, as they were doing several laps. It would be more enjoyable on a bike I think, we could actually not be so tired after seeing the entire trail. We went to a store REI to look at some bikes. Luis has been wanting to go in that store, for what reason I am not sure, since he isn't the most outdoor loving guy. I am excited to get a bike for sure! Even Luis is too. I think the move to Texas will be good for our hopefully more physically active lifestyle. There is a large bike shop here that offers awesome bikes used at fantastic prices. I think our plan is to get some bikes there, once we are our house.
Also on our walk we came across a neighborhood library, which was super awesome! The idea was that you could take a book and they'd like you to put another book in there. After you read the book, you put your name in there and then return it. Its just outside someones yard, its sooo awesome! There was some magazines in there, so I have some really good ones that I could put in there! I cannot wait to go back by it!
I hope everyone had a great Easter Holiday! Ours was quiet, and since all of our things are in storage the cats did not get to have their annual easter egg hunt in the house. But we did celebrate Rico's Birthday on Thursday evening!
Thursday, April 17, 2014
A few random thoughts ....
Today around 10 I am headed out to the new house to see what the foundation company (that did the work previously) reports about the property. I am very excited about this house, while the layout is not what my idea of ideal is, the owners really are. They consistently surprise me by doing the right thing. They are truly great people.
When I get back from that, I need to finish out the last hour of my Texas xray lecture and take the test already. The lecture is just long and boring with a lot of scientific information about the xrays that I need to write down to have all that straight for what angles and what type of xrays and what not. Its really confusing to me because I have only used traditional style xrays 2 different times. The lecture vs taking xrays is vastly different. Its a lot easier knowing what tooth you are trying to capture and the angle you need to point the BID at than what they make it to be in the lecture. All I can say is that in Louisiana it was much more easy to attain the ability to take xrays!!
I do struggle sometimes with depression, and I think genuinely everyone does from time to time. I think my best way of coping with it for the last few years, was by being so busy I didn't have time to think about being depressed. While my brain has always been overworked, now that I am unemployed, that when I do talk to someone, I am constantly judging what I said, what I did, did I handle it correctly? I mean don't get me wrong, I do this ALL the time, even about the blogs I write .... its just who I am. But its usually just a few times I think about it. I have been thinking about the last phone conversation with my old boss over and over again, then judging did I handle it correctly ... is he distancing me because I offended him? More than likely, I am just making all of this up.
I have to say that I am super impressed with Hailey and Cherie, Hailey has really stepped up and starting to get more organized as an assistant. Which I always thought she had it in her, its just bringing it out of someone is the hard part. I think she works well under pressure. I also am very proud of the progress that Laurie has made. A person that was scared to death of what she was doing at the office is now feeling more like she belongs there and is getting more and more comfortable.
Giving the key back to the office was bittersweet and I have come to my terms of not having the key. I don't live there, the chances of me returning - slim to none. He said he would have me come back for large cases, but the way he has not been responding to me and trying to cut me out of the loop .... I really don't see that happening. So I am okay with separating my ties. I am going to continue the ordering for maybe 1 or 2 more months then I'll turn it over to Hailey. I want her to get better organized in their daily task before I throw something else at her. Overall from the office, I am getting the feeling that when I asked to be paid for the work that I done during the day of my move (while my house was being packed) I think offended him and that's where this all comes from. I'm in the crossroads of just sending him an email to forget about the money and just take the loss and feel like I am the bigger person and take that for payment.
When I get back from that, I need to finish out the last hour of my Texas xray lecture and take the test already. The lecture is just long and boring with a lot of scientific information about the xrays that I need to write down to have all that straight for what angles and what type of xrays and what not. Its really confusing to me because I have only used traditional style xrays 2 different times. The lecture vs taking xrays is vastly different. Its a lot easier knowing what tooth you are trying to capture and the angle you need to point the BID at than what they make it to be in the lecture. All I can say is that in Louisiana it was much more easy to attain the ability to take xrays!!
I do struggle sometimes with depression, and I think genuinely everyone does from time to time. I think my best way of coping with it for the last few years, was by being so busy I didn't have time to think about being depressed. While my brain has always been overworked, now that I am unemployed, that when I do talk to someone, I am constantly judging what I said, what I did, did I handle it correctly? I mean don't get me wrong, I do this ALL the time, even about the blogs I write .... its just who I am. But its usually just a few times I think about it. I have been thinking about the last phone conversation with my old boss over and over again, then judging did I handle it correctly ... is he distancing me because I offended him? More than likely, I am just making all of this up.
I have to say that I am super impressed with Hailey and Cherie, Hailey has really stepped up and starting to get more organized as an assistant. Which I always thought she had it in her, its just bringing it out of someone is the hard part. I think she works well under pressure. I also am very proud of the progress that Laurie has made. A person that was scared to death of what she was doing at the office is now feeling more like she belongs there and is getting more and more comfortable.
Giving the key back to the office was bittersweet and I have come to my terms of not having the key. I don't live there, the chances of me returning - slim to none. He said he would have me come back for large cases, but the way he has not been responding to me and trying to cut me out of the loop .... I really don't see that happening. So I am okay with separating my ties. I am going to continue the ordering for maybe 1 or 2 more months then I'll turn it over to Hailey. I want her to get better organized in their daily task before I throw something else at her. Overall from the office, I am getting the feeling that when I asked to be paid for the work that I done during the day of my move (while my house was being packed) I think offended him and that's where this all comes from. I'm in the crossroads of just sending him an email to forget about the money and just take the loss and feel like I am the bigger person and take that for payment.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Quick Trip
Yesterday was the commercial at the office back in Louisiana.
The trip there was pretty awful driving in severe weather for most of the trip. Once I was closer to Lafayette, the rain let up a bit. I first went to see my friends in the old neighborhood. The kids were so excited to see me, and I felt horrible for getting there so late, but luckily they are not in school this week, so I was not in trouble with their parents! We visited for a while, got them up to speed on our house situation here and some funny stories here and there, it was nice for adult interaction after it just been me and the cats for a couple of weeks. I picked up the boxes of things that we had left at their house the day of the move because our cars were both packed to the brim!
The next morning started bright and early. Got up and started my phone call list of people to get up to the office. I even did the nicest thing I think, I went to Great Harvest Bread Co. and picked up a sampler box for breakfast for everyone that was being so kind to come and do the commercial for us.
But before that, I had to talk to the new assistant and get her goals for the next few weeks and talk to her about a few situations. Was productive in more than one way. I have to send those emails after this entry is complete.
Once the people got there for the commercial things went very smoothly. The patients were all talking among themselves about their procedures and making very good friends. It was quite great to see them all interacting. It was nice to be back where I felt comfortable, with the patients I really like and have a bond with. I did leave early before the part that I was supposed to be in, no big deal! Hailey got her life long dream of being a tooth girl fulfilled!
At lunch, I got to catch up with +Brent Frick, on life and everything else. Took care of some unfinished business and finally felt accomplished with the particular banking institution. We went to a rather new restaurant in Lafayette, well I think it has been there for like a year probably, but new to me! The salad was actually awesome! I cannot wait to see Mrs +Brent Frick in the summer when she comes to Dallas.
I have a few emails to send to the office and start preparing the next order for the upcoming month. I did an inventory while waiting for Dr. Finley to return to the office, but we ended up taking care of it over the phone and I left almost 3 hours late for Dallas and yet again drove almost all of LA in extremely severe weather. Matter of fact, I am positive that I seen a tornado form and touch down in St. Landry Parish on I-49. The winds were so strong that most trucks were pulled off the roadway. Which was great for me so that I could actually see the road. Once I got to Shreveport the skys cleared up and even some sun left in the day. Then I just booked it back to Dallas and got home around 10PM. You would think that I would sleep in after the day I had yesterday .. nope .. up at 7AM and couldn't go back to sleep.
So, yesterday I left my key at Finley Periodontics, which was fitting that it literally started storming as soon as I set the alarm for the last time. EVEN more fitting, my official last time at the office was me by myself alone and left alone. I guess its a memory stable place as I started alone and finished alone.
The trip there was pretty awful driving in severe weather for most of the trip. Once I was closer to Lafayette, the rain let up a bit. I first went to see my friends in the old neighborhood. The kids were so excited to see me, and I felt horrible for getting there so late, but luckily they are not in school this week, so I was not in trouble with their parents! We visited for a while, got them up to speed on our house situation here and some funny stories here and there, it was nice for adult interaction after it just been me and the cats for a couple of weeks. I picked up the boxes of things that we had left at their house the day of the move because our cars were both packed to the brim!
The next morning started bright and early. Got up and started my phone call list of people to get up to the office. I even did the nicest thing I think, I went to Great Harvest Bread Co. and picked up a sampler box for breakfast for everyone that was being so kind to come and do the commercial for us.
But before that, I had to talk to the new assistant and get her goals for the next few weeks and talk to her about a few situations. Was productive in more than one way. I have to send those emails after this entry is complete.
Once the people got there for the commercial things went very smoothly. The patients were all talking among themselves about their procedures and making very good friends. It was quite great to see them all interacting. It was nice to be back where I felt comfortable, with the patients I really like and have a bond with. I did leave early before the part that I was supposed to be in, no big deal! Hailey got her life long dream of being a tooth girl fulfilled!
At lunch, I got to catch up with +Brent Frick, on life and everything else. Took care of some unfinished business and finally felt accomplished with the particular banking institution. We went to a rather new restaurant in Lafayette, well I think it has been there for like a year probably, but new to me! The salad was actually awesome! I cannot wait to see Mrs +Brent Frick in the summer when she comes to Dallas.
I have a few emails to send to the office and start preparing the next order for the upcoming month. I did an inventory while waiting for Dr. Finley to return to the office, but we ended up taking care of it over the phone and I left almost 3 hours late for Dallas and yet again drove almost all of LA in extremely severe weather. Matter of fact, I am positive that I seen a tornado form and touch down in St. Landry Parish on I-49. The winds were so strong that most trucks were pulled off the roadway. Which was great for me so that I could actually see the road. Once I got to Shreveport the skys cleared up and even some sun left in the day. Then I just booked it back to Dallas and got home around 10PM. You would think that I would sleep in after the day I had yesterday .. nope .. up at 7AM and couldn't go back to sleep.
So, yesterday I left my key at Finley Periodontics, which was fitting that it literally started storming as soon as I set the alarm for the last time. EVEN more fitting, my official last time at the office was me by myself alone and left alone. I guess its a memory stable place as I started alone and finished alone.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Meeting with Dr. R Finley
Today Dr. R Finley is in town and it was finally time for me to go to Dr. Roe's office to see what was going on.
To my amazement the office is very high end and just fantastic! The exam room that Dr. R Finley and I will be working out of is small, but not the smallest place that I have ever been - that's for sure! There will be some maneuvering, but nothing that I cannot handle. Dr. Roe is very down to earth and so are his employees. I think it will be a fantastic place to work once we (Dr. R Finley and I) get all settled in. Things seem to be progressing and we shall see what happens! We all went to lunch today, which Dr. Roe picked up the tab, I need to send him a thank you card at a place called hooked line and sinker - interesting place. I got a salad that was GIANT but amazing.
I'm so happy that things are falling into place. I think I have always been slightly worried, now after today, I can rest a little bit more. Heck, I might even see if the periodontist that works there on Fridays would like some help ... I might just do that so that I have something to keep me sane before everything gets established.
Home inspection was yesterday, and there was a few issues, nothing that insurance cannot handle for the sellers. The roof needs to be replaced and there was previous foundation work done that needs to be remeasured. So Luis and I are going to look over the completed report and get with Robert and Reese if needed and go forward from there to see what we want to get fixed before we move on. Also, we need to look into places to stay since this will go beyond 30 days to closing.
All in all things are progressing - which is always fantastic! I love progression! I also love feeling accomplished ... today I have both of those feelings which does not always happen.
I actually already have dinner made - just waiting for Luis to get back from the office.
To my amazement the office is very high end and just fantastic! The exam room that Dr. R Finley and I will be working out of is small, but not the smallest place that I have ever been - that's for sure! There will be some maneuvering, but nothing that I cannot handle. Dr. Roe is very down to earth and so are his employees. I think it will be a fantastic place to work once we (Dr. R Finley and I) get all settled in. Things seem to be progressing and we shall see what happens! We all went to lunch today, which Dr. Roe picked up the tab, I need to send him a thank you card at a place called hooked line and sinker - interesting place. I got a salad that was GIANT but amazing.
I'm so happy that things are falling into place. I think I have always been slightly worried, now after today, I can rest a little bit more. Heck, I might even see if the periodontist that works there on Fridays would like some help ... I might just do that so that I have something to keep me sane before everything gets established.
Home inspection was yesterday, and there was a few issues, nothing that insurance cannot handle for the sellers. The roof needs to be replaced and there was previous foundation work done that needs to be remeasured. So Luis and I are going to look over the completed report and get with Robert and Reese if needed and go forward from there to see what we want to get fixed before we move on. Also, we need to look into places to stay since this will go beyond 30 days to closing.
All in all things are progressing - which is always fantastic! I love progression! I also love feeling accomplished ... today I have both of those feelings which does not always happen.
I actually already have dinner made - just waiting for Luis to get back from the office.
Morning Aggravation!
I just have to vent some where because i am very aggravated. To slightly explain the situation without going into huge amount of detail - I am still working extremely part-time for the doctor back in Lafayette.
I DO NOT mind whenever they call me for help - even as yesterday I am in the MIDDLE of my new home inspection, but I take the call and walk the person through the issue - no problem at all - really, I love helping. The problem I have is whenever people that have no idea what is really going on weigh in their thoughts about the situation. The person I hired for the office manager was asking a few tech problems which was easily diverted to the tech support for the office, no big deal. But then she proceeds to tell me that I was asked to return my key and my scrubs. Which the scrubs were a given, and I only purchased on the doctors money for the year - 2 pairs of scrubs as I was hopeful to have the need for maternity scrubs. I mean hell, I even gave someone there my surgery shoes that I purchased they were well over $150. The are amazing shoes and if you are going to be standing on concrete all day they are very necessary - just after I lost weight, they were 3 sizes or more too big, so why keep them? Anyhow, I was asked to give my key tot the office manager - which that is not the reason that I am aggravated. I am questioning why MY key is being given to this said person and not the person who she replaced - that to me would make more sense. Anyhow, I sent an email to the doctor explaining that I had no problem giving the key back, but if I give the key back I will no longer be making ANY trips back to Lafayette to help with the office in person, as many times I have been stood up at the office with "people meeting me up there" So I am not making a LONG trip to be helpful (which I have NO problem with) ... I guess more so I have an issue with the way it is being handled, because I'm pretty sure this person that is giving all these orders (not the doctor) doesn't even know that I am actually STILL employed there. Which now, I have to go back and email all those people and this is just turning into a bunch of crap.
Anyhow, I am not upset, just needed to vent. Just got the call/text I have been waiting for - off to get ready!
I DO NOT mind whenever they call me for help - even as yesterday I am in the MIDDLE of my new home inspection, but I take the call and walk the person through the issue - no problem at all - really, I love helping. The problem I have is whenever people that have no idea what is really going on weigh in their thoughts about the situation. The person I hired for the office manager was asking a few tech problems which was easily diverted to the tech support for the office, no big deal. But then she proceeds to tell me that I was asked to return my key and my scrubs. Which the scrubs were a given, and I only purchased on the doctors money for the year - 2 pairs of scrubs as I was hopeful to have the need for maternity scrubs. I mean hell, I even gave someone there my surgery shoes that I purchased they were well over $150. The are amazing shoes and if you are going to be standing on concrete all day they are very necessary - just after I lost weight, they were 3 sizes or more too big, so why keep them? Anyhow, I was asked to give my key tot the office manager - which that is not the reason that I am aggravated. I am questioning why MY key is being given to this said person and not the person who she replaced - that to me would make more sense. Anyhow, I sent an email to the doctor explaining that I had no problem giving the key back, but if I give the key back I will no longer be making ANY trips back to Lafayette to help with the office in person, as many times I have been stood up at the office with "people meeting me up there" So I am not making a LONG trip to be helpful (which I have NO problem with) ... I guess more so I have an issue with the way it is being handled, because I'm pretty sure this person that is giving all these orders (not the doctor) doesn't even know that I am actually STILL employed there. Which now, I have to go back and email all those people and this is just turning into a bunch of crap.
Anyhow, I am not upset, just needed to vent. Just got the call/text I have been waiting for - off to get ready!
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Progress on finding a new permanent home
Pretty much as soon as we got up here, the very next day, the Realtor and I were out and about looking at what felt like hundreds of homes. Robert (Realtor) showed me two listing in a town called The Colony - which from our previous trip, I had come to the conclusion I hated The Colony because it was very old home that were badly flipped and in my thoughts completely over priced. Apparently to my surprise, the area closer to where we wanted to be anyhow is a lot better looking area. The two homes were basically everything we are looking for. So, we submitted offers on both homes and then the waiting game began. I loathe waiting!!!!
That evening we received a response on the first home - which was my top pick - that we were 2nd runner up. Not the news I was hoping for obviously, but I couldn't say I wish I would have never submitted an offer - competitive offer at that. Then Sunday afternoon we received a call from Robert telling us our offer on the other home - Luis top pick was accepted and we could start moving forward. So today is our home inspection.
Apparently I am completely confused how the energy system works here in Texas. I called a local power company, which redirected me to a broker for power who quoted several different power companies. I'm still confused. I explained to Robert, I have never been able to pick and choose who was going to provide me power. Its sooo strange! We shall see what comes of this.
Since I have lost weight, I have not been replenishing my clothing. Which goes easily unnoticed whenever you mostly wear scrubs and pajamas. Now that I am wearing regular clothes every day ... its like oh I wore this yesterday and that the day before. I seriously have 5 shirts, so I'm pretty sure Robert thinks I only wear the same thing everyday. Today after the home inspection Luis and I are going to go shopping and get a few more shirts to add to my collection! I also need to get some tennis shoes that I can jog and work out in. There is a fitness center here at the complex and might as well use it while I have nothing else really to do. There is also a jogging path/pet area. I am going to conduct a study of when there is no dogs out over a few days time and then take Rico out for a walk. If I had a cat stroller for Mango I could take her with us, but she does not do well on a harness/leash. I'm fairly positive Rico thinks he is a small dog.
I still have not received any mail yet. My fantastic friends in Lafayette have been checking my mail and nothing is there and I have nothing here. So I have talked to the admin office of the apartment complex, the PO in Farmers Branch TX and the PO in Lafayette LA. So the only conclusion we have come to is that it might be up to 15 days before receive any mail .... so strange. I have never experienced this in a move - not even an out of state move.
Well we officially no longer own the house on Mirada Lane, as of Monday- we have already received our net benefits - so its seriously official. Its a strange feeling. But not a bad feeling, just strange!!
Sunday I am heading back to Lafayette to be at the office on Monday for the commercial for Dr. Finley. I called all my people yesterday afternoon and confirmed them. I now just have to make the hotel reservations. I was planning on flying originally, but I will have to drive because I have a few things in my other friends house to take back with me to TX. Different things the movers could not back. Mostly cleaning stuff, like soaps and sprays. And all of my welcome mats from the back and the front. Even though its only been like what 2 weeks - ish, I still miss everyone!!
That evening we received a response on the first home - which was my top pick - that we were 2nd runner up. Not the news I was hoping for obviously, but I couldn't say I wish I would have never submitted an offer - competitive offer at that. Then Sunday afternoon we received a call from Robert telling us our offer on the other home - Luis top pick was accepted and we could start moving forward. So today is our home inspection.
Apparently I am completely confused how the energy system works here in Texas. I called a local power company, which redirected me to a broker for power who quoted several different power companies. I'm still confused. I explained to Robert, I have never been able to pick and choose who was going to provide me power. Its sooo strange! We shall see what comes of this.
Since I have lost weight, I have not been replenishing my clothing. Which goes easily unnoticed whenever you mostly wear scrubs and pajamas. Now that I am wearing regular clothes every day ... its like oh I wore this yesterday and that the day before. I seriously have 5 shirts, so I'm pretty sure Robert thinks I only wear the same thing everyday. Today after the home inspection Luis and I are going to go shopping and get a few more shirts to add to my collection! I also need to get some tennis shoes that I can jog and work out in. There is a fitness center here at the complex and might as well use it while I have nothing else really to do. There is also a jogging path/pet area. I am going to conduct a study of when there is no dogs out over a few days time and then take Rico out for a walk. If I had a cat stroller for Mango I could take her with us, but she does not do well on a harness/leash. I'm fairly positive Rico thinks he is a small dog.
I still have not received any mail yet. My fantastic friends in Lafayette have been checking my mail and nothing is there and I have nothing here. So I have talked to the admin office of the apartment complex, the PO in Farmers Branch TX and the PO in Lafayette LA. So the only conclusion we have come to is that it might be up to 15 days before receive any mail .... so strange. I have never experienced this in a move - not even an out of state move.
Well we officially no longer own the house on Mirada Lane, as of Monday- we have already received our net benefits - so its seriously official. Its a strange feeling. But not a bad feeling, just strange!!
Sunday I am heading back to Lafayette to be at the office on Monday for the commercial for Dr. Finley. I called all my people yesterday afternoon and confirmed them. I now just have to make the hotel reservations. I was planning on flying originally, but I will have to drive because I have a few things in my other friends house to take back with me to TX. Different things the movers could not back. Mostly cleaning stuff, like soaps and sprays. And all of my welcome mats from the back and the front. Even though its only been like what 2 weeks - ish, I still miss everyone!!
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